The Real Deal

Self reflection here. Me, me and me. Was on the train and reflected on my life. Finally I can put words into my character and behavior towards my loved ones and friends. It’s done throughout my life but just don’t know how to word it properly. Now it’s the time :)

All along I thought the reason why I tell my friends problems is bcoz I’m comfortable with them and able to seek comfort from it. However, the real reason is actually bcoz I know by telling them, they may/may not do anything. They are just there to listen and offer typical advice. From there I can tell who my real friends are and who ain’t. But when that applied to my loved ones (incl. girlfriend/wife), I withhold bcoz I know they WILL DO SOMETHING! Duh..!! I don’t know why, but maybe I just want someone to listen to me, whining and stuff. ‘coz deep down, I already know what to do. A listening ear will do.

The less my loved ones know my problems, the lesser they get worried about me. That’s how I think. It never crosses my mind that they should be the ones who are there for me, through thick and thin. But my intention is always clear; I don’t want them to worry for me. I just want them to be happy and not add my problems to their burden.

You can say I’m crazy or chauvinistic, but I rather it stay this way for as long as possible. That’s why Irene always says I’m more willing to open up to my friends instead of her. Now, here’s the reason, but she(they) doesn’t need to know. Unless I can find a gal who can break this stigma, I’m not gonna remarry.

That’s the real deal.