Monday, March 26, 2012

10 years from now...

I was pondering on this thought and couldn’t come to any fruitful conclusion. Or should I say, any conclusion that can satisfy my curiosity.

Given the current status quo, I believe I’m not in any position to provide for anyone, let alone a family. Hell No!! Judgment made and the verdict was, to wake up and stop having fairytale hallucinations of finding Ms Right. The fact is, with the emo vibe I’m having now, she will most probably be frightened away if she sees the state I’m in.

People say I had slimmed down, but I know it’s just words of courtesy. In other words, I look like SHIT!

The radiant color had gone and the dark circles are the mainstay on this shriveled face of mine. Lack lustre and losing the sheen on this 29-going-30 body, is just a terrible feeling.

Emotions running high and low within days and lately, the frequency is rapid and often on the wrong side of the scale. And after reading such a status update, it’s been affecting me even more.

“When will this end??!!”, is the question that I had been asking myself of late. It’s been 6 months, and she is still not over it yet. How long does she need to get over this emotional hurt? It’s not doing her any good and neither do I feel good seeing her like this.

What the hell she wants from me??!!!

I have been trying very hard to battle this bravely for as far as I can go and from what I know, I’m losing momentum and losing steam fast. I’m not getting any motivation and I’m hitting another plateau in time to come. It wouldn’t be easy to overcome this but I know I have to do it, but how????????

Thank God for the break I’m gonna take and the timing cannot be any perfect. I really do need time-off away from this place, and long trip away from this place will do me some good…Or not?