Tuesday, August 04, 2009

4th ICT 2009

This week had been a week of reflections and gaining insight to my life, instead of doing physical exercises.

I hear the guys talk about their careers, their newly minted marriages, getting cars and flats. It’s rather sad to say the least, that I’m neither successful in either of that. My career is in limbo, no future partner in sight, and don’t even have to think of 4 wheels and a 4-room house.

For the 1st time, I’m really reflecting on what I’m gonna do with my life. Though I have a job, it’s not really a field I can excel in. I might jolly well return to shipping. It’s where the money is. I can at least be an executive or even an Assistant Manager! But my concern now is, how to climb the corporate ladder with so much in my mind. I really don’t know what the future lies. Yesterday, I told Kelvin that I’m drained out just after 7 months, and contemplating a return to my old job. The stress level and workload is really intense. Not everyone can take it. That’s why I wonder how Gimmy tahan for 2 years. It’s plain insanity! Though the money is rather good (if you are high ranking), the responsibilities is equally “good” too. Everytime got courses, seminars and conferences to attend. Siao loh..work cannot finish, still must go this, go that.

Talking about relationships and marriages. Friends are tying up the knots like tying shoelaces. Fast and sweet. And wedding albums are sprouting all over the place. Malls, papers, and even facebook!!! I WANNA GET MARRIED TOO!!! I want to have a family and kids too…sob sob.. :( I yearn for a meaningful relationship, but can’t find the correct one to start with. I even thought of reconciling with Irene, but I don’t wanna go back to the devilish part of me, uncontrollably. I wanna be fair to her, as much as I can. Somehow, she’s someone I’m spending a lot of time with lately. She’s the only one who is available and accommodate to my timing, any day of the week. That’s sweet, but I don’t wanna take advantage of that too. I even siam her for some time, so as not to rely on her. But I can’t, coz she’s the next best thing, in terms of shopping-cum-eating kaki. I just went with the flow loh. Fuck care for now..as long we’re happy, I don’t really care now. But still, I will wanna find a partner to spend intimate time with. I need genuine love/passion. I need it badly and need it fast!!

Don’t even mention about cars and flats!! I’m not even close…not even smelling it. Period!!

Haiz…it’s been a great week though. Rekindling friendship and knowing new ones. I hope this will gain momentum for me. Job wise, getting better at it. Relationship wise, getting to know a girl, of coz! And when I get these both on track, the other 2 will fall in place in 10 years time..hahahhah…

People just don’t believe I can’t score a date, and blame me for being picky. Kekeke…it’s true. I’m indeed picky. I’m critical when selecting the future mate. Everything must be perfect, but I’m learning to compromise and forgoing the ones that ain’t important. But seeing other imperfect couples, it’s even more frustrating and pek chey on not finding the babe.

@#%%^&&(*&^(**(*)*)*)*)*)*)*)*(*)&$%%#$###!@!@$%^#E%#$%!!!!!!

Someone please give me a real hug & kiss…………..

No comments: