I’m think I’m crazier if I don’t get crazy at the circumstances I’m in right now. Jobless and losing self-worth is getting to me again. I can’t stand myself anymore at my past actions. The stupid things that I had done to get myself in this mess. It’s total horrid. I got a perfectly good job and ever-compliant wife, but I gave them all up, just bcoz people say “you should job-hop to get your pay increase, faster!”…and the wife part, is all onto me, no one else to blame. All is rubbish.
I threw away a perfectly good life and end up doing part time job for $7/hr. I can’t blame anyone just bcoz I’m too trusting or too stupid to evaluate my god-damn life. I was so good at my job and I have the backing of so many people there, but I gave it all up bcoz of a “step upwards”?? Bullshit!!!! It’s XXX who bloody tell me the company wouldn’t consider increasing my pay, just bcoz 8yrs ago, they didn’t do so for XXX…but it didn’t come onto me that it might be different for me!!??? Why am I so STUPID!!!!!!!!!!! Such a nincompoop!!!!
I even have to resort to begging my old job back, but still sabotaged by other useless/backstabbing people, or else I would be back there within a week!! Whatever I say now is futile, and I can’t turn back time. So all I can do is rant my frustrations here and get on with my miserable life.
Everyone thinks that I’m not anxious/nonchalant about getting a job soon. They really think I’m still so laid-back as before and smile my way through life now?? They are so damn ignorant!!!! They thought they knew me, but they know nuts about me. My acting must be good though, giving them the wrong impression. Coz there’s really nothing they can do about it, even if I give them a grumpy face every single shit day for the past 7 months, right?? If they can, I’m more than obliged to do that to satisfy their ego.
I’m not asking for much. I just want a job to get my life back together again. Is it that difficult???!!! Is that too much to ask??!!! Why no fucking one wants to give me a chance???!!!!!! At least I’m a uni grad, with 3 yrs working experience…doesn’t that count one FUCKING BIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I JUST FEEL LIKE SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF MY VOICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On the way home, I even contemplating whether to turn to a life of monkhood and serve the people, like all great men before me. People like Mahatma Ghandi and Mother Theresa are worth following and learnt, rather than Donald Trump and Bill Gates. I rather see a smile on an ailing man than sucking them dry of their paycheck with my proposed products/properties. What has this world come to??? I’m becoming more and more disillusioned about the last 27yrs that had past, and more importantly, how will the next 27 more years that were to come??? Will I still be a jobless wreck, still playing cool and laid-back or living comfortably with my cosy family??? It’s becoming a blur all of a sudden. Without a job, I cannot see my future. Without a future, there is definitely no self-worth.
I threw away a perfectly good life and end up doing part time job for $7/hr. I can’t blame anyone just bcoz I’m too trusting or too stupid to evaluate my god-damn life. I was so good at my job and I have the backing of so many people there, but I gave it all up bcoz of a “step upwards”?? Bullshit!!!! It’s XXX who bloody tell me the company wouldn’t consider increasing my pay, just bcoz 8yrs ago, they didn’t do so for XXX…but it didn’t come onto me that it might be different for me!!??? Why am I so STUPID!!!!!!!!!!! Such a nincompoop!!!!
I even have to resort to begging my old job back, but still sabotaged by other useless/backstabbing people, or else I would be back there within a week!! Whatever I say now is futile, and I can’t turn back time. So all I can do is rant my frustrations here and get on with my miserable life.
Everyone thinks that I’m not anxious/nonchalant about getting a job soon. They really think I’m still so laid-back as before and smile my way through life now?? They are so damn ignorant!!!! They thought they knew me, but they know nuts about me. My acting must be good though, giving them the wrong impression. Coz there’s really nothing they can do about it, even if I give them a grumpy face every single shit day for the past 7 months, right?? If they can, I’m more than obliged to do that to satisfy their ego.
I’m not asking for much. I just want a job to get my life back together again. Is it that difficult???!!! Is that too much to ask??!!! Why no fucking one wants to give me a chance???!!!!!! At least I’m a uni grad, with 3 yrs working experience…doesn’t that count one FUCKING BIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I JUST FEEL LIKE SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF MY VOICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On the way home, I even contemplating whether to turn to a life of monkhood and serve the people, like all great men before me. People like Mahatma Ghandi and Mother Theresa are worth following and learnt, rather than Donald Trump and Bill Gates. I rather see a smile on an ailing man than sucking them dry of their paycheck with my proposed products/properties. What has this world come to??? I’m becoming more and more disillusioned about the last 27yrs that had past, and more importantly, how will the next 27 more years that were to come??? Will I still be a jobless wreck, still playing cool and laid-back or living comfortably with my cosy family??? It’s becoming a blur all of a sudden. Without a job, I cannot see my future. Without a future, there is definitely no self-worth.
Maybe You need me more, so can You please take me away now???!!!! End my sufferings!!!!! Let me spread your teachings to a wider audience through their dreams and thoughts. At least that will bring me joy and tranquility.
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