It’s down for some serious writing..been a longggg time…kana scolded by my mei mei fr not posting 4 so long…hhaahah…
E most notable feeling I hv now is anger n helplessness..my dad ask me when to hold the weddin dinner AGAIN!!!???? I really hv e urge to tell him I’m not doin it anymore!! I quit!! I seriously hv no intention fr holding any bloody shit now, nxt yr, e yr aft yr n lik FOREVER!!!…aaaarrrggggghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
I dun love my wife anymore, so wat e fuck do I wanna hold any dinner! Wat makes u tink so…got suicidal inclinations man…e tots of jumpin down frm my flat sounds lik a pretty proposal rite now..i really really REALLY need to sit my folks down w my wife n talk abt tis…I’m goin crazy jus tinkin abt it :(
Wat can I do…goin off wherever the plane can takes me or jus hide in my friend/relative’s pl 4 e time being???? E plane trip sounds lik a gd idea…disappear 4 a mth n come back w another woman n a baby…hw abt tt???!!! Become a gigolo n disgust myself to death???!!! Feelin all e pressure’s on me RIGHT NOW!! It’s totally unnecessarily!!! I dun wanna talk, eat, slp to ANYONE 4 e next wks…work late, come back late n go to slp…DOOR SHUT…I’m gonna shut myself out of tis world…it’s cruel n I’m not capable to handle it anymore..really I m…if u can c me rite now, I can cry my eyeballs out…dun tink I can hold back tis r/s anymore…the ultimatium: marry at aug 08 or call it quit…I give myself these 2 options..if not, they can disown me all they wan..i dun care anymore..if not, they can lose tis son of their fr 24yrs, forever…
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