I have been wanting to blog but never knew what to write and when I have the heart to jot it down, I'm either out or not accessible to my PC. zzzzzzz......But I want to blog would only be matters of the heart. Nothing would trouble me so much than that. Not even work related issues. Nothing come close.
I don't know where to start where you have all these thoughts flying in your head all the time. The ideas are all disorganised and in pieces. I can literally go on for hours, writing the same old matter, which I feel it's just lame. By writing will only make you realise the problems ain't that big and you just need to take a step back and see the bigger picture. I just need one ingredient to solve all this: Courage.
Things had spun out of hand a couple of weeks ago and it had simmer down to a slow boil and more manageable. But I'm getting frustrated by her swing in decisions and it's really getting into me. Patch back or split, you just tell me. Don't make my head spin, for goodness sake!! I'm really had it!!
It's my fault and I take the full blame, but decision making still lie wholly on her. I really want her to make a rational decision before she gets paranoid all her time with me. Before she gets crazy, maybe I'll go bonkers first. tsk tsk....
I know I shouldn't lose my temper, but her emotional swings are so extreme that I can't grapple with it. Once in a while, I can understand. But she can swing a couple of times in a day, and that it's tough to manage! I've been trying to understand her mood, but it's still difficult to deal with. If I were her, I would have broken off with me after discovery of the matter. No questions asked.
I know she cherish the relationship, that's why she's holding on for so long. But my heart ain't the same after the break-up in initiated in February. I force my heart to die 4 months ago. That's why I was quite reluctant to patch back. I was weak and now, I hurt her because of that. My fault, totally. :(
What I can do now is playing by the ear. I'm not sure what is install for us in the coming weeks, but I hope we can have a conclusion soon. I hope I have the strength to make the right decision for myself and for her. I only want her to overcome this and gain her foothold in life again. I made her this way, and I feel compelled to make her stand again. But whether she will allow me to help her is totally another issue.
I don't know where to start where you have all these thoughts flying in your head all the time. The ideas are all disorganised and in pieces. I can literally go on for hours, writing the same old matter, which I feel it's just lame. By writing will only make you realise the problems ain't that big and you just need to take a step back and see the bigger picture. I just need one ingredient to solve all this: Courage.
Things had spun out of hand a couple of weeks ago and it had simmer down to a slow boil and more manageable. But I'm getting frustrated by her swing in decisions and it's really getting into me. Patch back or split, you just tell me. Don't make my head spin, for goodness sake!! I'm really had it!!
It's my fault and I take the full blame, but decision making still lie wholly on her. I really want her to make a rational decision before she gets paranoid all her time with me. Before she gets crazy, maybe I'll go bonkers first. tsk tsk....
I know I shouldn't lose my temper, but her emotional swings are so extreme that I can't grapple with it. Once in a while, I can understand. But she can swing a couple of times in a day, and that it's tough to manage! I've been trying to understand her mood, but it's still difficult to deal with. If I were her, I would have broken off with me after discovery of the matter. No questions asked.
I know she cherish the relationship, that's why she's holding on for so long. But my heart ain't the same after the break-up in initiated in February. I force my heart to die 4 months ago. That's why I was quite reluctant to patch back. I was weak and now, I hurt her because of that. My fault, totally. :(
What I can do now is playing by the ear. I'm not sure what is install for us in the coming weeks, but I hope we can have a conclusion soon. I hope I have the strength to make the right decision for myself and for her. I only want her to overcome this and gain her foothold in life again. I made her this way, and I feel compelled to make her stand again. But whether she will allow me to help her is totally another issue.
2 comments:
give and take kor. u cant plan how a r/s works out... let ur heart take the lead.
woooooww!! nvr knew u still read my blog mei..
ya man, nt gonna tink so much into r/s matters le. gonna take it easy frm nw on..
u leh?? nvr update..
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