Show-off your Thongs!!

With my bers slipping down lower and lower, my black thong peeks out prominently. Though unintentional, the feeling is of sexiness and exhibitionist. Kekek…now I truly understand why girls like to show off (intentional or unintentional) their intimates in public. It gives them the sexiness they all crave. You can say they are attention seekers, but who doesn’t from time to time. From the cute guy a glance away to the most lewd uncle. You just wanna flaunt it. it’s kinda liberating and shiok-ness.

It’s very cheeky and I love it. :p Time to go thong shopping!! Bangkok here I come!!

3 days of Fun, Sun and Food!!

Tonkichi Jumbo Katsu

This weekend is the BEST yet! It kick-started off from last Friday with waxing and Hokkaido Foodfair @ TM. The Japanese craze had caught up with me again. I have the hots for anything Jap now! Jap food, culture, manga and anything that has Hiragana on it, I’m in LOVE with it!! hahahah…had also enrolled myself into a Jap class starting 30 Jul. I’m gonna take it from the basics once again. No choice, but I know it will be fun :). Hopefully, come April my Japanese will be better and able to string the words together.

Serene and me discovered that food can be affordable and interesting in Orchard. We started our shopping trail from The Cathay. Discovered Aston’s opened an outlet there and there is a cheap and stylish tie shop, Roff as well. It’s a good start to any outing. Next stop was Plaza Singapura. We took a breather and ate in this sausage shop, Bratwurst. The food and price is pretty decent and mid-range. But the sauces are a tad salty, i.e. the ketchup and mustard. If you hold back on those, it should be fine :). The soup of the day, minestrone was good as well, but if it’s much more warmer, it will be heavenly….awwww…after a long walk, the soup was just what we needed. Anyway onto the next stop. After lunch, we headed down to my doc’s outlet at Midpoint Orchard to get some concealer. In the end, I came out with loose powder as well. Both costs me $43 and it’s money well-spent. I used it today and it turned out great. Maybe the oil control wasn't quite there, but I can live with it. Or maybe the powder wasn’t enough, but either way, I felt good and that’s the bottom line.

We trotted down to Wisma and Taka. (hmmm….why did we miss out Heeren??? *puzzled*) Did shopping for Soon and Jess prezzies and it was fast! Fastest time ever to get two prezzies. Kekeek…then come high-tea. We didn’t know of what to eat, so we went to the basement of Paragon. To out delight, this Japanese eatery is having a daily promotion for its dessert menu. Shimbashi Soba (dessert special daily from 2.30pm to 5.30pm sharp) is a place to have authentic soba and desserts. The offer price for its desserts is $5!!! Can you believe it??!!! A Jap treat for just $5 in TOWN!! It’s unbelievable, so I die die must try. The presentation was immaculate. So precise, so delicate. The Anmitsu is refreshing and of the right sweetness. And with the green tea, it’s a bliss….(I can hear “awwwwwwwww”s now..kekeke…be jealous girls. :p) I’m sure to go back again, and try the soba as well. It’s hand made, so the texture should taste different and hopefully, better.

By the time all eating and shopping was done, it’s about 9pm. Stomachs grumbling and legs aching, we had a hard time thinking of what to eat. Serene recommended Tonkichi for its meaty pork cutlet, and so there we were…queuing…10 people ahead of us. It’s damn long, but it’s worth the wait. The shredded cabbage is free flow and the pork is crispy on the outside and juicy and tender when your teeth sink into it. Yummy!!

There you have it. my Saturday outing in brief. Kekekek…Sunday was great too. Sun’s out and my plan went according to ehhh….plan?! hahaha…went East Coast for lunch, then head to PS (again) for Hellboy 2. Pretty funny and surprisingly touching. There’s a bit of romance as well. After which, we headed to this poor service Jap restaurant, Ajitei, and ended up leaving the place after screwing the supervisor (who was actually a young Japanese girl). The local staff was terrible and slow. Anyway, will lodge a complaint tomorrow. So, we went searching for food and end up in Swensen’s. Expected service and food. At least my evening wasn't spoilt :). My weekend was good and grateful for the company I have, i.e. my family and friends. Hope to do this more often.

Now, it’s time for me to sleep and looking forward to my eyebrow trimming tomorrow. Kekek…Life’s Great! Who can blame me if God loves me more now…kekekekek…

Shopping with Charles is FUN!!

Pheww!!! Didn’t have so much fun shopping with a guy before! Charles and I covered every inch of Raffles S.C., Marina Square, Bugis Junction and Orchard (almost…) yesterday. Lucky we started off early, if not we wouldn’t have walked to so many stores. The weather’s great, i.e. not too hot and windy. Most importantly, I was clad in jeans, which is NOT the norm for me on a weekend. Somehow, I feel the need to wear it…my gut feeling told me it’s gonna be chilly out there. As I stepped out, it drizzled. What a coincidence! Kekeke…And the next most amazing thing is, we both dressed up for shopping!!!! It’s the 1st time we both see each other so nicely dressed up. Jeans, sneakers, nice hairdo. Hahahah…Great start!!

I found the most amazing find in Domanchi. It’s in MS. A perfect cut, white shirt is a rare find for Asian fit. Most probably bcoz it’s a local company and the designers are aware of this and design according to our sizes. “Well done, people!” The downside; the hefty price tag. It’s $139. Sad, but at least I know where to find great shirts from now on :).

Another discovery is, Victor’s Kitchen @ Sunshine Plaza (10.30am to 8.00pm daily). It serves savory dim sum and sweet, delightful desserts. The menu comprises of 25 items, excluding the drinks and desserts. But my most fav is the double boiled milk with almond juice. It’s an authentic dessert found in Hong Kong, but I don’t see it in any Singapore restaurants or dim sum eateries. And it’s only $3!! Great for complexion and I can see myself going there once every fortnightly. Kekeke.. :p

Good food, great company and fantastic scenery (if you know what I mean…kekeke), what more can I ask for?! It was time well-spent and I hope it never end. Will pray every week to be buzzing with activities. ; )

A Blast From The Past

Looking back the past photos, I feel that the only people I disappoint are my family and relatives. Even extending my apologies to Irene’s family and friends. By seeing those photos, brought back a sense of grief (maybe it’s too strong a word, but I have no other words to represent how I’m feeling). Maybe sadness is more appropriate…anyway, I’m not regretting my decision, but there is always a tinge of resentment on why I lead my family to this stage of my life. Bringing them happiness and now this. It’s just not right in my context of being a son/grandson/nephew/friend. They watched me grow up, taught me, showered me with love/concern and this is how I repay them? Many a times, I thought of not stepping on the red carpet again. And now, seeing those photos, it further cements my decision. Maybe it’s a moment of nostalgia or resentment, but for now, I’m sure it wouldn’t happen.

It would take a very special someone to make me want to spend the rest of my life with her. It would take enormous courage to make me want to change for her and knowing her family in depth. Care for her till her last breath, having kids with her, educating them and seeing our grandkids grow up as well. It will be another miracle if that is to happen. I’m not sure what God has installed for me, but I’m sure he has his ways of telling me…someway, somewhere. The Universe is self-sufficient and time will tell if the right girl will pop up in front of me one morning. Let’s see.

Tears will drop, but it wouldn’t flow now. I’m just being sentimental about the past and taught me a good lesson on being a person. I’m humbled now and will cherish my family more…especially my grand folks. I hope they can be there for me when my 1st born is here. I really do. They mean more than anything in the world. Not even money can take that love away from me.

I hope I can do enough to bring away the pain/disappointment and inject happiness into my family again. Like in the past. Simple pleasures and just lounging around the living room sofa, watching TV. Just the 4 of us. I love you, Mum & Dad…from the bottom of my heart. I wish I can tell you everyday, upfront…but I know you do, right. I hope that day will come when I say that to you both. :)

Don’t worry, I will take care of my sister when you guys are not around. I will do that with my utmost ability and no harm will come her way. That’s a promise.

Happy times are ahead of us and it will be like last time, happy and laughing. May it be like this always, forever…………………………………………………………….

Free "Ice-cream"!!

Ever since my reservist had ended, the whole week had been a mad house. Quarterly, back-up work, clearing up of backlog, visiting my grandpa (hope he recover soon & no more further complications), and tight, TIGHT datelines to meet. Before I knew it, I’ll be flying off to Shanghai again…that means I have to do all of the above when I come back…it’s a living TORTURE!!!! SHIT!!

Almost everyday was working OT, but as long I clear my work, I’m happy. Still have a stack of invoices to clear before I can safely say, “I’m cleared!!”.

Attended my colleague’s father’s wake last Wednesday and to my delight (no pun intended), there’s a girl which fits my bill. She’s every bit the demure type with sharp facial features. Her eyes are literally sparkling (no kidding). Very quiet and shy. Looks very cute, just like in the manga. Never in my life would I thought I would see such a rarity in such an occasion. Weird but a pleasant sighting.

Another rarity is when I went shopping at antipodean @ Holland V today. The salesgirl is very petite with very oriental features, but the figure is to die for!! Though petite, her cup size is totally not for her frame. It’s not those huge tits, but a high B, low C-cup (which is perfectly seated on her chest). It’s not vulgar and totally a blessing. I can’t help it but stole a few glances. She wore a red dress with a plunging neckline, exposing her assets. How can I not see!!!??? I’m a guy for God’s sake. Kekeke… :p Anyway, her service is pretty decent and the décor is cosy enough to fit a small crowd. There isn’t much variety of bags, but the selection of tops, dresses and skirts are rather ok. But what I like much is the changing room. It’s big and spacious, complete with a huge wall mirror to complement the whole clothes-trying experience. :)

In the end, I bought a nice handbag for my sister’s 22nd birthday. (actually I wanted that bag, but it turned out to be so small that it look weird if I were to carry it). Then head down to Orchard to grab a quick bite before calling it a day. I had a long day….went swimming in the morning, back to office, then slotting in a couple of shopping hours. Feel dehydrated ever since I left the office. Been drinking water non-stop but still my throat is dry.

Gonna grab that bottle of water now…bottoms up!!

p.s. I would go back to antipodean just to see at the salesgirl again...kekeke... :p

Sentosa, In-camp & Shopping!!

A week had passed and I’m still feeling on a high. The memories of my getaway with the guys last weekend were still vividly etched in my mind. The dark tan, the Frisbee and newfound joker, Kevin!! Hahahah…he’s such a clown. It’s my 2nd meet-up with him and I can see that he’s opening up with us and it’s always a great thing. We took lotsa photos and loving it. Quirky, funny and cool poses all over the place. Credit to moi, the official photographer of the day. Kekek.. :p

Never did I stayed on the beach for 6 whole hours without feeling an inch of boredom. This outing somehow gave me a feeling of “nice-ness”. Don’t know why but it’s just nice hanging out with friends. There weren’t any dull moment as we constantly seek new excitement when the tempo was down. Sooooo……we didn’t gave the girls a time to rest!! Hahahaha…bad hor, but we are at the beach!! There’s no excuse to rest! The heavens answered my prayers to part the clouds and there wasn’t a fluffy cloud in miles..!! THANK YOU LORD!!! :p What a prefect way to send me off to my 3rd in-camp.

My skin only starts to peel off a few days back, which an amazing feat coz the normalcy is that I’ll start to peel in 2 days. :) Anyway, my in-camp was a breeze. Managed to completed 3 comics in 2 days and gotten another 2 more from Serene yesterday. Yippee!!! Feeling more feminine with each read. It’s such a comfort reading it loh…bringing out my real inner-self out in the open. Awwwww…. :p even thought of transforming myself into one…hmmmmm…it’s a wild thought but never say never. But one thing for sure, if I can get to speak with God when I die, I would choose to reincarnate into a female body. ; )

Another cherry on the cake is, I went shopping with Ser. It’s our 1st trip together. She turned up in a stylish get-up and I’m happy she did it. normally she under-dress or inappropriately in the wrong attire. But yesterday, she got full marks from me. Nice clean wife-beater, a short grey skirt with a ponytail. HOT!! She’s all ready for shopping war!! Hahah…

We both wished we had more time as we didn’t covered every inch of Orchard. And she duly regretted it as well. Hahahahaha…Orh bi!! But on the flip side, if we shopped any longer, I would have made her broke. Kekeke.. :p I kept asking her to try clothes in an attempt to change her wardrobe and inject more colors into her outfits. She kept complaining her colors are mostly blacks, whites, so I’m to the rescue! But we ended up buying 2 more black basics!! Hahahahah…funny! :p There was some food in between the scuffle for clothes. We went to the Hokkaido Fair @ Isetan Scotts (on my sister’s request to buy Dango for her) and bought bags of Jap goodies, then stopped by Mac for a necessary pit stop.

The whole shopping experience was "shiokness" to another level. We had even planned for the next mall to attack on our next trip…City Hall area. That would be another story to tell…

That’s all folks. It’s my update for the past one week or so…hope you babes had a great time as much as I did.

Love ya!!! Muuuaacckkk!!

Back to Back Races

Back to back races can really be torturing your body. I found out 1st hand. I guess it’s becoz I’m not totally trained up for these 2 events, that’s why my knee went busted earlier on at the 12km mark. What a waste! I thought of bettering my timing, but my knee made me off the mark by 15mins. Very disappointed… :(

So now my conclusion is, train up before embarking on such strenuous exercise. Soooooooo, will hit the gym with my colleagues for 2 months in time for the SBR and Nike Plus Run in Aug. Hope my legs will be stronger and better than before…maybe I can sneak in some shoulders and abs exercises as well…I can imagine looking like a hunk!! Hahahahah… :p

Tuesday TV ROCKS TO THE MAX!!

Tuesday are filled to the brim with good TV shows. I wish I could watch them all. Arrrggghhhh….Arts Central, Ch5, Ch8…so much to watch, but only 1 pair of eyes!! If you already know, I’m a very, very addicted TV watcher. Kekeke…since I could crawl, I watch TV all my life. It becomes a part of my life. I can ALWAYS postpone shopping for my fav TV show, so what you think?! :p

Kudos to the TV inventor!!…whoever he/she is… :)

2nd day of Shopping

I was prepared for another shopping adventure today, but it wasn’t meant to be. The day started with a movie, Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian. The movie was decent and the mouse knight was cute. Kekeke…anyway it’s only $6.50, so it’s money well spent.

Then I trotted my way to Orchard, hoping to spot any great deals. But first, I had to fill my tummy. Apparently, that was my downfall. After the Big Mac, I felt sick and lost the mood for shopping. The food was churning inside me and casued the mood swing. I hung on and managed to do the Men’s section @ Takashimaya. I think that’s about it.

Well, the day wasn’t that bad though. While on the way to the station, I donated $10 to a children foundation. So, that pretty much summed up my day on the high. Maybe becoz I donated the same amount a couple of weeks back, I can feel the karma paying it forward. 1st, I got an interview with the biggest ship owner in the world, Maersk Line this coming Friday. 2nd, I got a phone-call earlier on from White Room that my brown bers are in stock and it’s the LAST PIECE!! Woooo!!! What luck! ; ) Definitely feel lucky about it. Hope my aptitude test goes well man. Really sucked at those, damn bloody difficult. Oh well, it’s worth a shot :)

Well, that’s the end of my 2 days hiatus from work, and tomorrow is back to office. I’m really glad I’m working tomorrow man. If I knew today’s gonna sucked, I would have made my way back. Anyway, enough said and time to calculate my spendings..$100…$200….$250………..hope it stops soon…hahahaha…

Trip to Haji Lane

Had a good scrub, shaven, manicured and off I went to hit the malls. Here I come GSS!! ; )

my shopping bags for the day :p

Went shopping today and totally soaked in the atmosphere of the June holidays. Students were everywhere and families as well. You know it’s the holidays when you see the mall filled with youth and vitality, and also weekdays ain’t crowded…so…you get the drift. ; )

Made my way to my destination of this year’s GSS: Haji Lane. It took me quite a while to finally locate the place. Thank God there were small area maps pasted on fences and walls in Arab Street. Actually I’m quite amazed to find maps there. The place is so small, but the people are kind enough to do that for the locals and tourists. There are many alleys and it can be quite daunting to find your way there. Anyway, finally I entered this tiny, little lane (enough for 1 car to pass through) and walked in awe. It’s very old but yet, modern. It gives you the avant grade feeling and that all those arty farty people likes to hang around here. Hahaha…it’s true! Even the salespeople are very hip and funky. So I went with a mission. My aim is to get myself the latest style this season: short bers. Read in on papers, fashion magazines and online blogs that it’s the hottest trend for guys right now, so I went into White Room on the recommendation of Urban.

the left is a maroon bers & the striped tee. I love the bers so much that I ask the girl to call me when the brown bers are in stock. They were wiped out once Urban did a write-up for them last week.

The store is nicely decorated with soft lighting. Mainly guys fashion with about 3 racks of girly stuff. Cater to the young executive and trendy. With the maroon bers, I even walked all the way to the entrance to have a clear view of the actual colour due to its orange lighting. I was laughing with the salesgirl that it’s my 1st time doing it. Hahaha…quite fun atmosphere. :p There isn’t any mirror in the changing room, so I had to walked out for all to pin-point my flaws. Kekeke…nah, just kidding. Becoz of the soft lighting, it makes the whole space very cosy and you just wanna spend your afternoon in there. It’s like you are brought to another time, another country. Kudos to the interior designer. Nicely done! Their in-house designer brand, Furrmuse has some decent pieces, together with other unknown brands from countries like Peru. Very exotic feel to it. I like it. I like the anonymity of brands, which gives me something no one has.

There’s the 2nd storey where it holds only guys stuff, e.g. fedoras, tees, shirts, skinny and very, very formal coats and blazers. I like the details they have on some items, particularly the embroidery on the pants (looks like tux’s bottoms). So there I was flipping through the clothes when she asked me whether I’m local. I said yes and asked why.

She said: “No offence, but I think you look like Thai.”

Then I laughed and replied, “It’s ok. I get it all the time especially when I travel. The usual ones are Thai, Vietnamese and Japanese.” Then we both laughed. Hahah…all those but never Singaporean. Not even in Singapore, my homeland. Hahahah…very funny. Meaning I have an international face. Yah!! Oh ya, and she did asked me whether I’m a model. She said I looked like one she saw somewhere. I said I tried but I have no chemistry with the camera. She was very kind and said runway models need not smile. I replied, “I’m not tall enough and can only do print ads. But I can’t do it coz my smiles are not ON/OFF button!” hahahah…it was a nice shopping experience when the salesperson chat with you, especially when you’re shopping alone. The big space can be intimidating as times.

The variety of clothes weren’t that much and the colours for their formal shirts are basic black/white/blue. I tried a pink one and she said it’s the 1st design that comes in pink, coz she feels Singaporean guys don’t dare to wear pink. I told her, “You must be joking!” I’ve seen guys wearing pink like nobody business, and mind you, they are no gays. Maybe her clientele isn’t that adventurous yet. Who knows. But I seriously doubt that.

Overall it’s a nice place to hang out and get a few unique pieces. Oh ya, my purchases are 1 tee and 1 bers. :p

The whole of Haji Lane is full of girly fashion and only a couple caters to men. It will be a walk in the park of you girls, if you had already conquered Orchard Road. It’s just a tiny stretch, slightly less than 250m. Shouldn’t be a problem for you babes.

the 2 bers from bods.bodynits @ 20% off. Very nicely done. The quality's pretty good and hoepfully worth every penny.

It was my 1st time to Arab Street, Haji Lane and Bali Lane. It’s pretty interesting and exciting trip I’d made in a while. It’s always the Orchard Roads, Suntecs and City Halls. It’s a refreshing thing to do and discover new things. Anyway, after I’m done with Haji, I’m off to Parco to look for more bargains. You bet I have! Went BHG and snapped up 2 bers from bods.bodynits. It’s having 20% off, so it’s a steal. The colours and designs are not what I would wear a year ago, but my style is ever-adapting and changing, so I had to get them. I had 3 choices, but cut it down to 2. I had to force myself to do that to control my spending. Kekeke…So it’s true. There is really such a thing as good deals in sales. ;) Please go BHG now, you may get some really good stuff there. I already gotten 2!!

All in all, I spent a total of $219.10. That’s about ½ of my shopping budget for this year. Sooooooo, tomorrow shopping trip I have to be more selective of my buys and buy only it’s unique and wearable.

Tomorrow to conquer Vivocity. More selective buys and more people watching. Hahahah… :p Cya in the land of indulgences!! Mmmuuaacckk!!

p.s. White Room, 37 Haji Lane. Best you go from 1pm onwards. Closes about 6-8pm.

Inaugural Sundown Marathon 2008

Just the 2nd marathon under my stable of long distance races. Very tired and very sleepy. Hahah…no joke. Almost fell asleep while running, can you believe it?! Not only me, a fellow runner as well, coz I saved him from rolling down the slope. His eyes were closed and I was there in time to pull him. Pheww!!! What drama!! :p

I was blessed with good weather in the night after the afternoon showers, but it was not meant to be. Roughly about 6am or around the 30km++ mark, it started to pour heavily for about 10-20mins, after which it toned down and continued for at least another 30mins. (Didn’t wear a watch, so I couldn’t tell the time. I can only use the birds chirping and sunrise as a gauge.) Nonetheless, the victory was sweet. Running (more like walking) through a sunrise is beautiful. Clear blue skies and wavy bits of cloud greeting you, Good Morning! The feeling’s great and finished the race at a time of 7:19.30hr. It’s considered good despite not training extensively for it. So there’s no complaints. :)

The race was full of people of different age groups. Those that attracted me are the housewives and grandpa group. I really take my hat to their sheer determination. It’s no joke running a marathon. Lots of training and strength training are needed to EVEN try to finish the race running. I doubt they have the luxury of time to do lots of training as well, so I salute them! You guys really earn my respect!

It’s also a race of familiarity. Not only I saw my cousin, Kent, I also saw my ex-CO, Col Lam, ex-PS, 2nd Sgt Tan and ex-Brigade CO (I think that’s his designation.. :p). All but my aunt. I was trying to spot her but end up finding all those people. Hahaha…well, doesn’t matter. It’s nice to see them again :) The race took place in the Eastern part of Singapore, so I ran past my people’s homes, i.e. Ben’s @ Telok Karau, Grandma’s @ Kembangan, Thomas’ @ Starville (also in Kembangan), my secondary school, Hai Sing High (now known as Hai Sing Catholic) and Misna’s @ Tampines Ave 10. It’s kinda cool to do that and give you a feeling of fondness. Nice feeling…kekeek.. :p

The whole race was generally ok but the organizing committee can do better next time. Some glitches on the manpower and lacking of every 1km route markers, can be improved for next year’s race. There wasn’t any lighting at the water points, which could proved very dangerous for the staff and very conducive for sleeping! Hahahah…anyway, PLEASEEEEEEEEEE provide lamps in future. Don’t be so stingy ok!

Gotten my medal, finisher tee, banana and water, it’s a job well done and adios. Maybe next year I’ll join again, but it will need lots of persuasion. Hahahah..next stop, Passion Run, 15km on 8 Jun. Shouldn’t bat a eyelid. So my main concern is August’s race, i.e. Singapore Bay Run, 21km. Maybe no kick after the 42. Hahahah… ; )

Summer Time!!!

It had been a gorgeous few weeks. Finally there’s a closure on my estranged marriage. That’s the focal point for the past weeks. Managed to get a lawyer and settle everything. He will do up the documents and the whole proceeding will take about 4 months @ about $3,200. This is only possible if your annulment/divorce is free of complications. Just relieved it’s settled after so long. What a ride…will think twice before blabbering off the “M” word.

Gorgeous will be an understatement for the events that went past. It’s MEGA TERRIFIC!! I had a blast of my life, doing things I enjoyed and with my pals. Partly becoz my mind is removed of this huge rock, and can truly relax. Phewww… :) Had many swimming sessions, and getting a good tan is important as well. Kekeke…

In the coming weeks, it’s filled with jammed packed activities. Here’s the schedule for your envy…kekkek :p

27th May: Laywer meeting & running with Soon
30th May: Teeth whitening & Granny’s birthday dinner
31st May: Race-pack collection for PAssion Run & Sundown Marathon @ 12am
7th Jun: Shopping with Serene!!
8th Jun: PAssion Run @ East Coast Park
15th Jun: Sentosa Getaway

Ta-dah!!! Looks kinda bare but trust me, I’ll make it packed as the week unfolds. I reckon in between there will be more swimming, running & gym!! Gym will be my new haunt. Gonna take a trial week with Planet Fitness with my protégé (my newest colleague), Jerry, under the tutelage of another colleague, Ivan (the gym buff). If the membership suits my wallet, may sign up and finally get the elusive 6-packs and a wider shoulders. Yippee!!

Looks pretty good from where I’m standing. Fun, friends and family. The 3 ‘F’s everyone must have to lead a meaningful life. Easy to say, difficult to accomplish. Just hope everyone out there can attain the same criteria as me and have a great life on Earth. Just remember the 3 ‘F’s go hand in hand. Once you savor the bitter sweet, you will never, ever let go. You will do your very best to make these 3 elements as close to heart as possible, for fear of losing your sanity. :p

Summer’s in and it’s time to plan fun-loving activities!! So, go out and have a SPLASH! Be WILD! Be SAFE!

Muuuuaaaccckkkk!!!!

Meeting Up

Had a morning swim and managed to cover 50 laps, until Charles came. Cut short my swim and head for lunch with him. Nice weather for the past 3 days and I’m very very grateful for that. THANK YOU BIG MAN!!! A nice sunny weather really maketh my day. Make my mood more cheerful and….ehhh…sunny!! kekek… :p

Then came the elusive sms from my girlfriend…Jo! Finally met up with her for tea @ TM. Wish I could give her a hug but people are watching, so I spared her the embarrassment. Hahaha…next time my dear ; )

Had coffee and jalan jalan at the malls. I would say, we had a great time talking and spilling our thoughts during the 2hr session. It’s like a crash course, and we squeezed out as much info for one another to update on our daily lives. Fruitful is the word. We manage to know the current affairs and what will be happening in the coming weeks…..so in case we don’t meet, AT LEAST we can pre-empt the end results. Hahahah… :p Anyway, it’s nice to see that girl’s face again.

p.s. you should really consider rebonding, but for your work commitment, it’s a pity you can’t. Then I guess, there isn’t much you can do, coz for most of the time, your hair will be bun-up.

The Big Reveal

As I predicted, it’s the year of break-ups. First, it was I. Then on Sat, I realized my sister had also broke up with her long time boyfriend too. It did come as a surprise, as they always seem to be in very good terms. The best part is, my sister is nonchalant about it. So, I guess it’s good news?!

The cat is out of the bag but it’s still kept contained within my household. My folks were very understanding but still being sad. It’s inevitable, and I totally understand their feelings. There’s been a whirlwind of thoughts ever since my confession, but finally (after 1 year) the rock is off my chest. It felt a huge relief but still a pity my marriage has to turn out this way. It’s been a long 3 years; from courtship to ROM to now, it’s a whirlwind romance and I never regret it. The only regret is that, she ever knew me. If I could turn back time, I wished we never cross path and her life would be better. That I know. Anyway, I’m just glad we’re proceeding to the lawyer soon and get this over with. It’s not cheap but it’s my undoing. I take full responsibility.

Ever since the big reveal, I’ll been proactive in searching new fashion and beauty treatments. First stop, teeth whitening. Already book my appointment @ Dental on the Bay next Friday. I know it will turn out gorgeous!! ; ) Finally book it since I saw it in Jan. With my bonus at hand, I reckon it wouldn’t be much left after I made my list…hahahaha…actually, after deducting the treatment and lawyer fees, half of it already gone. So, only half left…isn’t much to think of either, might as well save it. Gotta spend less these few months and try to save a bit.

There’s so much buzzing in the next few weeks, that I can’t stop myself from being high. Kekeke…there’s Sundown Marathon, Passion Run, Teeth Whitening, Sentosa Getaway…Gosh…it’s aplenty!!! :) There ain’t any events I can’t go and will not go..I’ll be there for ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cya there babes!! ; )

Wealthy Singaporeans

Just had dinner @ TM, and I saw hordes of people out dining. Maybe it’s becoz of Mother’s Day, but the queues are dragon length. Even the less popular eatery like Bali-thai is packed and a queue is formed. A phenomenon that seldom happened. The only thing I deduced is that people are getting wealthier and able to spend. It’s very much unlike the situation like the experts portrayed. US recession, oil price hike, food scarcity seems to be not affecting the locals. Everyone is spending and having a good time. Hmmm…I wonder what seems to be the problem. Is it becoz it hasn’t hit us hard enough or is our government been acting as a cushion for us to minimize the hardest impact from the global events?

Interesting thought…anyway I just feel good that my fellow countrymen are doing good and eating well. Nothing else matters for now.

Spend Spend Spend!!!

Ooh la la…!!! Finally made my way to get a Brazilian and waxing on my pits. It’s GREAT!!! But the stupid thing is, when I got home and check out Strip’s rates, it’s cheaper by 40%! SHIT big time man!!! But at least now I know where to go when the bush grows back again. Kekeke… :p

The past week had been the most amazing time EVER. In Shanghai, had my first ever full body scrub. My God, it left my skin yearning for more when I get back. Kekek…now I’m seriously thinking whether to sign up for any beauty salons. It’s damn shiok man. So smooth….awwww….it’s a sinful indulgence, but one that I can grow to love. :) Any recommendations? The full body massages and foot massage were good as well. It didn’t really make my muscles totally relax, but at least it’s soothing. There’s nothing more I can ask for in this trip. Fully paid spa treatments, entertainment and food, it’s the most relaxing holiday I ever had!!! All thanks to my supplier!!! Thank you Yan Jie!!! ; )

With the GSS on the horizon, it’s inevitable that the annual itch to shop is here again. But I already start the ball rolling by snapping up a pair of Rayban after my waxing session @ Penisula Shopping Centre yesterday. It wasn’t those stylo-milo shop, and that explains why the prices are cheaper than others. You can’t miss it when you enter at the front door. It’s really cool! My dad has it, and now it’s my turn. Kekek…the fashion has come full cycle. Besides that, I ALMOST bought a few pairs of Onitsuka Tigers, adidas and more Raybans! They are all calling out eagerly for me to buy them home….aaaahhhhh!!!! But thank God my brain won the battle, if not I would easily be $700-800 poorer. Proud of myself!! Kekeke.. :p

p.s. hope to rope in a few kakis for spa, then we can go together and have a great time…after that can go makan!! ; )

Shanghai trip turns out to be my turning point in life..

Back from Shanghai and I’m feeling great! More like a retreat than a business trip. Hahaha…work 1 day, play 3 days!!! That’s the way all business trips should be! The weather was great and cooling in the mornings and nights, so it was rather interesting and shiok. Only downside is the dryness. Had dried lips for 3 days, so on my next trip, have to bring along the lip balm. ;)

Had many eye-openers during this long trip. Made my virgin voyage to a KTV, massage parlor and foot massage. The former two are those with special service and it was fun! Though I did think back how degrading is it for the girls (and these girls aren’t Shanghai-nese!! They are from other provinces. The local girls are all in Singapore!!) to be in this line, so I didn’t go too far. Women in general, are treated rather badly (in my perspective), physically and morally. But at least in Shanghai, it’s still not that bad. Most are educated and feisty, so they know how to take care of themselves. But I can’t vouch for the rest of the provinces.

China is really experiencing a big change since the last time I went. Shopping malls, business towers, commercial offices are sprouting like mushrooms over the last decade and more to come. Posh living quarters are becoming a common sight in the scarce land of Shanghai. The most expensive apartment costs 110,000 yuan/sq mtr (S$20,000!!!). You do the math. And only 1 unit was sold since the day it launched. But in time to come, I’m sure it will be filled up very fast, especially the emergence of Russia and the Arab contingent.

If you’re thinking Stephen Chow’s character in Shaolin Soccer as a beggar in ragged clothes is funny, guess what…I saw a person donning those exact same torn and tattered clothes and shoes, and carrying his stuff, looking all scruffy and with his long white hair @ Shanghai. No joke!! There’re really very, very poor people but I can’t help them all. It really bugged me really bad when an old lady asked me for money and bread, and I didn’t give her. I nearly cried. I was afraid if I give her, all would come after me. If she can hear me, I’m really, really sorry about that. I wish I can lend a hand to her and all I came across, but I didn’t. Hope they make it through another day.

Through these events the past few days, I played a lot and think a lot. Both good and bad. Maybe it’s another turning point in my life. I can say that, in my 25 years on Earth, I’d experienced stuff my peers hadn’t; like marriage and divorce at the same time. It isn’t pleasant but I’m qualified to offer advice, should the need arise. I thought about how life should be simpler and family will always be there for you, no matter what. They will eventually forgive you and life goes on. There isn’t anything better than kinship. No one can ever replace that…not even your wife/husband.

I guess what I’m trying to say here is, enjoy your life alone first, before bringing in that special one. It will be the rest of your life. Your fate will come without you knowing. So, don’t be in a hurry to tie yourself down and quickly deciding he/she’s the one. Take your time and choose. Make sure he/she shares your same goals and have the desired qualities you wanted in your soulmate. No need all, even 50% is a good trade-off. The rest, you have to learn to compromise. That’s what marriage’s all about. If he/she’s 100% perfect, you might be marrying God! Kekek… ;) Good luck in your mate hunting and wishes all a good 2nd half of 2008!!

A Steal!!

A cloudless sky. The dry, hot air. Low humidity. It’s a gorgeous weather, by my standards! It’s almost like the weather in Gold Coast. Thank God I went out today, if not it’s wasted again. Then it will be letting the big man down. Kekek… :p

Went to watched Harold & Kumar 2 with Justin and went window shopping afterwards. Headed to Isetan Scotts & snapped up 2 running shorts by Nike @ the price of $22.05!! keke…don’t believe it right? Tell you more if you wanna know ;) it’s ALMOST illegal…hahahahah…it’s between me & Justin ONLY. SWEET!!!

It’s the weekend again & thank God (again) that I’ve plans this week. Yiiippppeee!!! Foodie trip and chill-out with the guys will do me just fine… :p Before jetting off to Shanghai for work, it’s a much needed chill-out session to keep my mind/body/spirit sane. Hope all will ends well in Shanghai WITHOUT the hiccups. Hate it if some small thing screw the whole trip up. Praying hard for that :) You babes, better pray for me also k…

Cya in a week!! Hmmmm…you can make advance booking with me before I fly off..kekeke…at least it makes me more excited when I’m on the flight back. ;)

p.s. I’m on leave on the 9th k…so you girls, know what to do ya…hahahaha…love ya!!

Having a Miser as boss...Chey!!

My boss really is a miser, with a capital M!! My China supplier came over for meeting last Friday and as usual, we went for lunch. It wasn’t those cheapo restaurants. It’s Lei Gardens @ Chijmes. We went there a couple of times and we KNOW it’s grand and tough on the wallet. My point is, at our home ground, my boss didn’t even offer to pay loh. In fact, my supplier alllllllllllll the way from Shanghai, paid for the meal. Should set him back around $600-700, at least. WAH LAU!!!!! For once, I feel very disgraced being the subordinate of hers. People from overseas, paid for our meal HERE. AT OUR SOIL. Such disgrace. Such a loser. ‘coz at Shanghai, my supplier treated us very well, so I suppose it’s only natural for us to return the kindness. But it wasn’t meant to be.

After lunch, I went round to vent my disagreement. Telling my colleagues and friends, how can have such a boss. No wonder no one likes her in the company. No style, no say.

Aaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ather this incident, it further cements my/our decision to leave the company, especially the dept!!! Chey!!!!

Beauty is REALLY Skin Deep.

I guess beauty is really skin deep. As I was prepping my skin for tonite’s needful rest, it just struck me that no matter how much cosmetic products I slap onto my face, it can ONLY do SO MUCH. Unless you’re ultra-rich and have wads of cash to wave around, it’s rather impossible for mere mortals to embark on extensive and invasive beauty treatments.

The acne scars can only be totally removed by laser treatment. The foolish, including me, believed that by applying religiously day and nite, the scars would lighten and eventually, fade away. Hahaha…what foolish thought I’d been having since I was 12. It only came to me until now. Until 15 minutes ago. I believe in grooming myself for MYSELF and for the people I love. I believe it makes me feel good, and the girls feel good, looking at a cute guy as well. Kekek… :p it’s true what! But jokes aside, it’s the confidence that a person elude from his/her inner-self that makes the person sexy/sassy/radiant. It’s the inner beauty that REALLY helps make other features stand out and dazzle the world he/she lives in. That’s why some “ugly” celebrities can have such long showbiz life! It’s their confidence!! If you have that, you can do anything, conquer anything! Kudos to them.

Brow trimming, nasal trimming, haircuts, waxing, bikini waxing, teeth whitening and many other treatments are good, but if it goes beyond that and you keep seeking more to satisfy your vanity, then I feel it’s going over the board. Not bcoz I do them, but bcoz it’s NEVER ENDING!! You can never be the perfect being. God is, not us. Sooooooooo, there’s no point in pursuing something that is not achievable and be contented with what we have or can have. That’s what life should be. Pursue happiness but always question when it will be enough. Only your true self will know the answer. And only when you know it, THEN will you come to terms with it and make peace with everything and everyone.

Cheers mates!!

Bags of the Season!!!

1. Milano Duffle @ US$299

2. Venezia Duffle @ US$299

3. Casiana Toe @ US$399

All these bags are from Italian brand Floto. Based in California but Italian craftmanship. Where can you get such workmanship in this time of mass-produced generation. Aaaahhhhhh....it's oozing sex appeal!!! Totally a MUST BUY this year man!! Definitely gonna think about getting one of them after my May bonus...kekekek... :p

Help me decide girls....I'm spolit for choice!!! But it's a dilemma that I can live with...kekekek...

The Real Deal

Self reflection here. Me, me and me. Was on the train and reflected on my life. Finally I can put words into my character and behavior towards my loved ones and friends. It’s done throughout my life but just don’t know how to word it properly. Now it’s the time :)

All along I thought the reason why I tell my friends problems is bcoz I’m comfortable with them and able to seek comfort from it. However, the real reason is actually bcoz I know by telling them, they may/may not do anything. They are just there to listen and offer typical advice. From there I can tell who my real friends are and who ain’t. But when that applied to my loved ones (incl. girlfriend/wife), I withhold bcoz I know they WILL DO SOMETHING! Duh..!! I don’t know why, but maybe I just want someone to listen to me, whining and stuff. ‘coz deep down, I already know what to do. A listening ear will do.

The less my loved ones know my problems, the lesser they get worried about me. That’s how I think. It never crosses my mind that they should be the ones who are there for me, through thick and thin. But my intention is always clear; I don’t want them to worry for me. I just want them to be happy and not add my problems to their burden.

You can say I’m crazy or chauvinistic, but I rather it stay this way for as long as possible. That’s why Irene always says I’m more willing to open up to my friends instead of her. Now, here’s the reason, but she(they) doesn’t need to know. Unless I can find a gal who can break this stigma, I’m not gonna remarry.

That’s the real deal.

Lousy Increment 2008

Just received my increment letter yesterday. A measly 10% increase. HUMBUG!! Lousy man!!! Okok..I know I know…don’t compare, but it’s really not fair! Even remember telling Justin, I’ll EVEN consider if they give me $500 raise. Now, it’s not even close. Pissed and disappointed at how the company treats their employees. Unfairly, I tell you. Different departments tend to get more than the rest. Maybe our department is always viewed as the cost centre, they can’t see us saving the money for the company. While other revenue generating departments are more obvious, they are deemed as “working hard” more than the rest. This notion is a century old, but it’s still actively practiced here, especially in our local context. (US companies are more impartial and performance based, hence fairer.)

Now, my 2 colleagues and myself have made up our mind (firmer now) that we will quit in after May bonus. It’s job-hunting time again!! Intensive hunt is on now!!

p.s. I even type my resignation letter in my office after reading the letter. What irony!! Hahaahh…who cares!!

He dropped THE Bomb!

Phewwww….what a day! Boss’s not around and it’s a breeze. ;) Work’s slow and steady, but actually, there’s nothing to much either!! Kekek…Anyway, let’s get on with it…..

Jerry, my new colleague, dropped a bomb on me during our kopi session. When the topic touched on “further studies”, he paused a second before blurted out that, he actually enrolled himself for FULL-TIME studies and the semester starts in Sept, (IF he’s accepted) which he will know only in end May. Then we probed further (me, Justin & Kelvin). He said, since it’s not known whether he would be accepted, so he might as well get a job. But he did said he wanted a temp, but no luck. Then this opportunity arises and he grabbed it. “Where got such thing wan?!!”…“Where can you get the best of both worlds!” You can only choose one, my friend!!

“FUCK YOU, YOU JACKASS!!!”, was actually screaming in my head.

I think Justin share the same sentiments as me. Wah lau!! That is totally not professional man!! You’re in the real world, boy. You have to be responsible for your actions and bear the consequences. You will be definitely be CONDEMNED in the shipping industry. No one will employ you bcoz of what you did here in PIL. Bad words travel fast and wide. So beware & be very prepared. That’s my advice.

I told him to at least have the courtesy to tell my boss after knowing his place is confirmed. But I know it’s difficult and surely, get a lashing from her & HR. ‘coz during the interview, he didn’t mentioned he’s going to be doing his tertiary education sooooooo soon. I reckon if he tells my boss, she might just terminate his services immediately. She wasted so much time looking for the perfect candidate, then he turned out this way. Took her bloody 4 months (she told us the new guy/gal is coming in Jan, and it’s Apr now.). Almost didn’t want to teach him anything after lunch…just show him some data entry in the end. Anyway, I’m just waiting for the “good show” to come on. LET THE SHOW BEGIN!!!! :p

Apparently, once I told people I’m going for piles surgery, many of them came out of the closet. Didn’t know it’s such a common ailment. My friends have it. My colleague had it. So it’s pretty normal, I guess. But the thing is, most of them didn’t have the operation. So I’m contemplating whether to go or not. Hmmmm…will ask my doc for a 2nd option though. Anyway, I hope whatever it is, I’m ok :)

Was watching Fashion Ave earlier on and I’m always turned on by it. ‘coz it made me wanna shop immediately!!! It’s killing me man! This Jodie Kidd (the hostess in the show and happened to be a model..not very pretty though…kekeke :p) is always showing the great places to shop in the world, but the prices are always sky-rocket. Anyway, that’s not the point. The image of nice weather, shopping streets in Europe…oh my God!! Do I need to say anymore??!! Make me feel like packing up my bags and go to Europe rite away. Hahahah…or just Orchard?! :p Aaarrrggghhh!!!

Surgery...Medical & Cosmetic

Here’s the look babes!! Eat your heart out! Kekeke…

On leave today and went for my brow-trimming session. Once again, Susan (the boss) didn’t disappoint me. She conjured some magic and I came out looking FABULOUS!!! It’s better than the last time. Damn nice man!!! And her service is forever 1st class. Though my session costs $5, she would still treat you as VIP. That is what I call quality service from the heart. :) I even advertise for her too! I asked my MSN friends to patronize her as well… :p

But it's rather painful on the 2nd brow, and as usual tears rolled...kekeke...it's PAINFUL!!! Much more than the 1st time I went. So I made up my mind to come every 3-4 weeks to prevent such torture again. Hahahah...lesser to pluck is always better! ;) A minute longer and I would request time-out man! No joke!! My pain tolerance is low for such beauty regimes..I can fracture my hand and still tahan the whole day before seeing the doc, but this,...NO WAY in Hell. :p

Hope my piles surgery does not hamper my training regime. I can only bank on recovering within 3 weeks and that will leave me with 2 weeks of intensive training. Crossing my fingers, no complications and excessive bleeding. God!! Now it’s the time to show your prowess….*show some love big man...*

Sad...Confused...Tears.............. :(

Listening to Jay Chou’s music, 不能说的秘密 (I think it’s the direct translation :p) makes me looks back to my past actions. Anything I would do differently? What if I were more friendly and out-going, will I have more friends now? The lack of companionship has struck me hard while taking the train home.

If I take away my close friends, I’m practically friend-less. No friends I can relate matters with. No one to share my thoughts and companionship. Maybe in the past, passers-by see me as stuck-up or icy, and keep a distance from me. Potential friends or even mates, just stay away for this reason. I only have myself to blame. What I used to think, doesn’t works 5-10 years down the road, i.e. I don’t need friends that I don’t think I’ll call/email/sms them. But now, I really wish I’d done things differently. Maybe, just by opening by a bit will allow me to have a handful more friends? I reckon that’s true. Now, I’m just lonely. With divorce now imminent, loneliness is the only companion I have. 24/7, 365 days. I’m prepared for this day. I was in this shoes before, so I guess I’ll survive. :)

Just can’t believe I have to live out my remaining youth, friendless and mateless. Just doesn’t make sense. I’m not-bad looking, ok personality and rather easy-going. So why can’t I find any MORE friends? So difficult meh? Where have all the people went???

Commitment is a tough word (be it in a friendship or romantic relationship). Effort must be seen and felt to make all relationship to click and last. Why can’t I make that commitment? I think the time’s not right now. It’s not right for me to tie the knot now. It’s just not right…I should clearly let nature takes its course. Marriage is definitely is not on the cards now. It’s not my calling. I’m just forcing it. It’s making me miserable every, single day. I’m sure it’s making her feel likewise. I’m so confused in my mind right now, that I wished I could turn back time!! :(

Sad songs=sad emotions=tears? I believe..’coz I’m in that state right now…………………..

**how i yearn for a hug....an ever-lasting hug

Singapore Girls SUCKS!!

Am I not attractive enough? Why the girls in facebook don’t give 2 hoots about me?! Send so many flirts, only 1-2 replied. Bloody hell!!! To hell with Singapore girls man!! The Chinese say, “Hang up and sell”. HUMBUG!!! My decision to hook up with foreign babes has never wrong!! It further cements my decision to venture out and not look back…

It’s called flirtable for a reason. Even the less pretty ones also never replied me. Wah lau!! I really got nothing to say man. Either they don’t like what they saw, or they feel threatened by my good looks. Hahahah….anyway just fuck it. Can’t be bothered with matters of the heart now. It’s such a silly game in life. There’s much more better things to do.

What is Normality?

What is normality? The norm that is accepted by the majority of your community rite? Or is it something that the majority perceived as being “normal” and “safe”?

Saw this documentary, Taboo last night and this guy (who has transformed his body into a lizard form, with sharp fangs, forked tongue and green skin!!) said this and got me thinking. People like him are not doing to stand out in the crowd. They are just expressing their inner-most desires, wants, likes, feelings, and what have you?! They are fully aware of the weird stares/comments that they will get, but still go ahead with it. It’s their passion and wanting to change in order to live out their present shell. For example, transgender, it takes lots of courage to come out of their shell and bring that inner person out in the open and be subjected to scrutiny and disapproval. However, once that is done, they feel free and liberated of sorts. They feel they can face the world with their real self and brimming with confidence. Nothing gonna bring them down. That’s their thought. But the most important step is, getting out of the routine and reflecting on their true being. Is this what you want people to see you as? Or can you take the criticism that comes along with it? It takes guts but there are people out there willing to take that risk, just for a chance to be liberated. I feel I’m becoming one of them. Often shunned, but also often envied. Who can say, they are fully comfortable in their own skin?? I doubt all. There are always some imperfections and flaws that people want to change. A very good analogy is, having your hobby as your job. Not many people can relate to that. A very good example is EPL players. The super-rich footballers have always been the envy of soccer enthusiasts. The people on the ground can only see the dollar signs but never close to touching it. They have to slog all day in the office, just to bring back the paltry salary at the end of the month. Enough to get 3 square meals, but never enough for a posh outing in that special occasion. That’s never the problem for those rich players. They spend like there’s no tomorrow and STILL have enough to spill over for Ferraris and Hummers. Haiz…the dreaded rat race of the 21st century. What to do?! Accept it and be contented…be BLOODY, VERY contented!! :) kekeke…

Back to normality. I guessed with each day, I’m getting more and more in-sync with my inner calling of girliness. Maybe some called it metrosexual or SNAG. But I feel a girl in me calling to release her. And I do confess that, I only bring her out in the presence of close friends. Very, very close friends. Like many of us, I dare not show the true colors, as might faced with the rejection and fear that I come along with me. Conservative folks might think we’re gays and shun us, or treat us differently (complete with the “eye-ball rolling” effect). If I were to come out completely, I might have to have a 5hr session @ Strip to wax off all the hair at my hands, legs and “you know where” regions! Hahahah…anyway, that’s not the point, even though it’s a painful thought :p Ok, there’s no denying that there’s a little someone inside all of us wanting to come out and make a point. But can we do it freely without getting punched/kicked/slapped/shunned? Is our Asian society ready for that? Even the US and Europe are not fully embracing the minority. They are still casting them aside to the borders, as if they don’t belong to the mainstream community. It’s ugly, but it’s true. Inequality has been in our lives since the birth of time, and will continue to do its job unless someone stand out and make a point. A very strong point, that we belong to the same species. We should stand by one another no matter. That should what 2 million years of evolution means. To unite the people and stay as one. Not fighting one another over mindless issues. Save the Earth, Save Us. That’s the motto we should carry for the next 100-200 years, in order to save ourselves, the floral and fauna. We should take the blame for our vast development on this planet and, should rightly take charge to revert back to its original state (highly impossible, but at least make drastic improvements) and make peace with your neighbors.

Do you dare to come to terms with your true identity? Do you have the balls? The thing at the end of the rainbow is Liberation. Is it a fair trade? You decide.

p.s. off to brow-trimming, Brazilian waxing and make-up shopping!! Kekeek… :p

Suay? or just plain Annoying?

Yesterday lunch, went for porridge and with 1 woman in line, I thought it would be fast. But in actual fact, she was tabao-ing 4 packets and eating 1 bowl as well. I was like, “WAH LAU!!” Packed so much for what!! Her colleagues damn bloody asshole…asked a pregnant woman to tabao and bring it back. IDIOT!! As she ordered the same porridge as me, I thought was mine and almost whisked it away, before the uncle told me it’s her. My face instantly turned pissed. In the end, I took longer than usual to finish my meal and lesser time for my kopi break.

And today, another idiotic thing happened. And you guessed it; it’s a woman too! Was queuing to top-up my ez-link card, and then this girl took a bloody long time to top-up. And when I thought she was done, she took out another one!! I feel like shouting “F*** YOU!!” at the top of my lungs, if I can. Really ah!, sometimes Singaporeans can be a big turn-off (including myself) and inconsiderate. Gone with the world-class city status and back to more civil education from the ground.

Bloody pissed!!

Weird but True : )

Was on the train when this struck me. I realized my closest friends resemble me to a certain extent. Example, Jo, Soon & Jia Chen..and even Irene. Nice bright eyes, tanned skin, sharp features and a quirky personality!! Kekek…but the physical aspects are really true. (Jo, hor!!) And this phenomenon spread to my “mate finding” capability as well. Subconsciously, I would look for girls with those features too. ; ) That’s why the scientists said that, we tend to attract people who we feel comfortable in and to our criteria. Without knowing, we have been doing that to all our friends and lovers.

Go figure out. Take a close look at all your friends and (ex)-lovers, and you’ll realize they somehow have a certain look that is similar across the board. No wonder they say couples have “couple face” as they have certain features that look alike in each other. :p

Quite cool or scary, if you see it other perspective. So girls, now you know my criteria and remember to keep a look-out for me ya ; )

Singapore vs Lebanon

The way Singapore wasted chances in front of goal really pains me dearly. As a Lions' fan, topping the group stage as No.1 has been the utmost importance for the team. However, the woeful strike-goal conversion is a great concern.

Besides that, the defence is leaky and lack of confidence. One player to point out is, Precious. Though big and tall, he's practically a spectator in the game. Here are his weak points after seeing him in the National colours for several occasions.

1. Lack of pace & Zero anticipation
- with no pace, he should make up for it in his reading of the game. For most of the time, he's spaced out (blur) and letting attackers run him through. That would cost us the whole game (esp crucial ones) and give oppositions a boost of confidence if they score the equaliser.

2. Tall but Useless
- despite towering most of the squad, he does not utilise it to his advantage, and often losing easy headers in routine corner kicks.

3. No Confidence
- playing in so many international matches, he still lack confidence. Without an experienced defender like Aide, at his side, he's really lost. Often enough, out of position and letting his marker off unnecessarily. He shouldn't make it in the squad because of name, but on merit. On that, he doesn’t deserve his place. I can clearly say that, without Mustafic in the holding mid-field role, Precious would be exposed and unable to cope with the Lebanese players.
When he was awarded the Citizenship, it really puzzles me but I like to give him the chance to prove himself in more games before making my judgement. However, he failed me too many times and proved that he's not up to our standards.

Technically wise, only a handful is worth mentioning, i,e, Shi Jia Yi, Mustafic and Khairul Amri. Especially when Khairul is brought on. He’s a breath of fresh air! His pace, skills and reading of his marker are fantastic. He knows what to expect and how to counter them. That’s why he’s the hero in our previous international tournament!! These players are confident of what they are doing and have a vision. They know what to do before even asking for the ball. That's what makes a good football team. A team that can reach for international glory.

Among the back four, the shortest player on the pitch, Noh Rahman played a better game than his colleagues. He's all over the place; in mid-field, tracking back in defence effectively. His tenacity is what Singapore is lacking across the board. Players like him are hardworking and "never say die" attitude. Our boys should be mentally trained as well and cope with the rigours and pressure of international matches readily.

On the match itself, even if we are up 2-0, the way we played in front of goal is something that needs lots of work. Polishing the finishing touch is important if you want to set the tone of the game. Watching the boys wasting 3 chances, at least, it's a call for more training on this. Being Asian, we are smaller in built, therefore we should concentrate on technique and pace. With that improved, I'm sure we can challenge for Asian Games medals and hopefully, better our chances in the next World Cup (sooner than later).

Raddy is doing a great job and I hope he continues doing so, and the boys, show more confidence and take your chances every time.

A Boy, Not Yet A Man..

Met up with the girls (including a guy, Soon) tonite, and had the usual makan session. But that’s not the thing I wanna talk about. It’s Jo.

I don’t know why, but whenever I see her, I’ll poke fun at her or be extremely playful with my words (and being girly). Just feel that, the longer we didn’t meet, the harder I poke my jokes. I guess it’s my way of saying, “I miss you…”, “show some love over here”. The closer I am to the girl (the more I understand you and longer the time we spent, you will automatically promoted to the rank of “Girlfriend” :p), the more I’m at ease in her presence. In the 1st place, there isn’t many girls I can be comfortable with. Not even a handful. Maybe a couple (Jo’s always been the 1st, while Ser’s just promoted, but can anytime demote…not a firm candidate yet). Not easy to find a girlfriend who you can talk freely about sex, gays, tits, bikini waxing!!, amongst other stuff.

Under that playful façade, is a person who really wants your company and attention all the time. At least, most of the times :). Maybe I’m shy to show the emotional side in front of a crowd, but rather doing it in a subtle way. After all, I’m a guy (even though I’m a self-proclaimed girl, and ALWAYS WILL BE!! Kekek.. :p) and it’s just wired in me to show the masculinity, unknowingly.

So whenever I didn’t meet up with you girls for a long time, and I poke tons of jokes on you, means I LOVE YOU and I MISS YOU LOTS k… :p The more, the better. Meaning, you’re someone in my life ; )

New Haircut!!

As promised, here's my pic...excuse the tardiness, just knock off from work..kekee :p

Enjoy babes!! & don't complain!!! :p

**Damn, I look scrawny!! Need more food man...

2008: A year of sorrow/worries/gloom/saddness???

Seems like the world around me is crumbling. I may have started the domino effect, or I would like to think it that way. My friends’ relationship hasn’t been in the best of times. Justin just broke off with his girlfriend last Friday. Tracy’s man may be cheating behind her back. And my best bud, Soon, is having problems with Jess’ dad. Is this the year of failed relationships or are dark times beckoning our way? Everyone is facing stress from this issue. I feel the bad aura around my friends when they speak to me, but there’s nothing I can do. Just hope my presence will be comforting for them to ease a little of their worries/sorrow away.

Has been gloomy the past week. The weather, that is. I truly believe it reflect the mood of the people underneath him. Father Sun sets the rhythm for the day and that affects me a lot. Without it, I feel lost and nonchalant to my surroundings. I don’t really care what is happening and don’t want to know as well. Like I told many of my friends, I run on solar energy. Without it, I can’t operate properly. :)

Down Memory Lane...

Late Posting dated 9 Mar 08

Was flipping through memory lane and it evoked a sense of nostalgia and guilt. Time really flies. Gone were the years of a chubby baby and innocence. I saw how I grew up; the things, the people and the love that comes with it. My family has always been closely knitted and strong. I could cry while flipping the photos; but it didn’t flow.

Somehow, I’m very guilty of letting my folks down when I reflect on my present situation. They had brought me up from a tiny baby, to the present me. 25 years on, and I have yet to make them proud. The matrimony of Irene and myself may have been the proudest moment for them, but now, I’ve crushed their pretty picture. How am I gonna tell them? How can I face them from now on? A child whom they place high hopes on becoming someone useful. A child whom they devote their whole lives to protect, provide and love wholeheartedly. A child whom they want him to have happiness and love, when they have passed on. :( sob sob…have I been such a failure to fulfill such simple requests? So just why can’t I do it, the simple way?

I hope I can explain to them eventually and they can accept it..

Earlier on, met up with Justin, and his situation had been resolved. He broke up with his girlfriend. In fact, she initiated it. To me, I feel it’s a better move for the both of them. I can sense his anguish as he put in lots of effort and heart to this relationship, but it turned out negatively. It is exactly what Irene and I is facing. She’s in Justin’s shoes while I’m in Cindy’s (his girlfriend). Deep down, I know it will be better, so everyone can move on and seek greener pastures or at least, reflect on the past and gain insight on their relationship-managing skills and their own characters.

Relationships can keep a person going, but also can “kill” them off mentally. It should be fun, loving, interesting and embracing. Once doubts and distrust have entered into the relationship, it will cause a stir and jeopardize it, if not resolve tactfully and amicably. Simple? But it ain’t as easy as it looks. Some will have smoother ride than the others. However, for those who weathered the storm, the relationship will be stronger and worth the time/effort to make this last a lifetime.

Very interesting issues we have to tackle in our daily lives at this phase of our lives. I guess at every phase, there is something that is sticky and needs our utmost attention all the time. It used to be our studies. Now it’s relationship and work. In 10 years time, it will be family. But how many of us can boast that in time to come? Surely I don’t count myself as a strong candidate, though I wish I can have that worry in my mind like my close peers. :)

Uneventful Shopping... :(

Subconsciously, I cut my hair according to Glenda Chong’s. Hahaha…realized that while I’m watching Channel News Asia. So funny… :p Maybe becoz I feel I resemble her a lot. The features, the sun-kissed tan. I reckon that’s the case :p Anyhow, looking good is still the main thing. Looking REAL good ; )

Went shopping for undies but very disappointed. Since November, there wasn’t any new designs under N2N brand. Shit loh!! So long liao, still no new stock meh??!! Actually damn pissed. Walked all the way from office to Chinatown Point, but it’s all time wasted. Sian…aaarrrgghhh!! Just feel like buying some new ones since I’d received an email saying they are having 30% storewide sale. But apparently, there’s nothing to my liking :( so sad…………

But what makes this day special is................it's my parent's 26th wedding anniversary!! Kudos to their never-ending love for each other and tying the knot on this special day 2 decades ago...So proud to be celebrating with/for them...wonder when's my turn will come.....??? Never?? :)

Anyway, Happy Anniversay dad & mum!! Enjoy this day and every other day to the fullest & stay healthy!! :)

*p.s my cam went flat, so have to charge it...so no pics babes... :p the next posting ya.

My cute haircut

I LOVE my new hairstyle!!!!!!!! I’m crazy over it…kekek…took me a few months to come up with a nice one :) and I’m glad it took that long. Good things can’t be rushed. And everyone agreed!! Once I stepped into office today, I’d gotten compliments. Very good ones indeed. Kekek…'nice', 'handsome' are the common ones. So that made my day. Soooo happy…kekeek… :p I’m cuter than life!! *and I've gotten looks from BOTH girls AND guys..kekeke... :p* totally loving the moment!

It’s like a bop but a bit rougher on the ends. Kinda layered. For months my neck couldn’t see the sunlight, but now it can. Hahahha…had a nice slope at the back and gone were the long tresses of the past. Maybe I’ll post a pic in my next post, then you guys can have a look ; )

Nothing much to write. Just wanna share my joy with my girlfriends ;p Off to more shopping and showing-off!!

Pedophile Alert!!

Saw this perverted guy on the train last night. He’s just hard-up for young flesh! A young girl, dressed in a low-cut top with her bra peeking out, boarded the train a station before him. So, from the time he came and sat in front of her (she was standing), his eyes were already fixated at her boobs. He didn’t just take a peek, he literally STARED for a few seconds!! WITH HER RIGHT IN FORNT OF HIM!! What audacity!! I don’t know whether the girl knows or not, but his actions were really creeping. Eyes bulging and almost popping out. He would take a glance every few minutes. Bloody ASSHOLE!! The sucky thing was, they both alighted at the same station (i.e. Tampines). And while she walked to the door, he stood up and had the gall to look down her top with no regards to the crowd besides him. HIS EYES MIGHT JUST AS WELL STICK THEM ON HER TITS!!! Bloody hell…a glance is ok, but that kind of action is criminal intent written all across his face. His face was damn creepy man. For a second, I thought he might molest her upon alighting from the train. I really was scared for her. Such a pedophile.

:( such bugger should not be let out of the house and hold under house arrest. Idiot!!

The Aftermath

Late Posting dated 4 Mar 08:

I’d said it. Done it. Everything was settled there and then. I can sense her agony on salvaging this relationship/marriage all by herself and still bear no fruit. I can understand the pain and anguish that comes with it. She cannot come to terms with it, but it’s a necessary evil. Somehow or rather, I’m single again and she, with an emotional baggage.

I’m disappointed things have to be done this way rather than the good old “face to face” talk. I can’t bear to see her sad face with “please don’t leave me alone” and “please don’t abandon me” look, and I’ll just crumble and give in to the situation again. I don’t want that to happen again and be firm this time round, hence the method of communication, i.e. via msn.

Her state of mind is my main worry. Until last night, I thought she would be at home, doing stuff. But in actually fact, she told me she was out roaming last night till 11+. I didn’t called her, knowing she might break down and I can’t hear her cries so late at night. For I myself, might break down as well. Anyway, we converse via sms and she made me think I’m very cruel for doing this to her. There’s nothing I can reply to her, but to swallow this down and let the world knows I’m the bad guy. There’s no better way now. Or simply, I have no more tricks up my sleeves! I’m at wit’s end. I’m no prophet at managing break-ups and relationships, so….don’t expect me to give subtle answers and 100% politically harmless replies and make you feel good. In fact, I’m wanna do the opposite. I want you to be sad, and lose hope in me…

She will be much better off without me. Honestly! From the time we got married, I can safely say, I have not been good to you. So, by leaving me, you are actually do good for my karma as well :_( I don’t want to treat you badly anymore!! So please leave me ok…It will be with deep sorrows when it eventually comes true. I want you to find a better man who can love you wholeheartedly and protect you your whole life. A man who can truly fulfill the words in the wedding vows.

The more I’m in a relationship, the more I feel I’m not capable of sustaining it with love, joy and commitment to my partner. I have always like to tie the knot at 23, 24, but I can’t. It’s still not my calling to build a family now. My mentality’s still not mature ENOUGH to hold my own, let alone another human being. Maybe I’m not created to fulfill that function. Maybe I’m just a passer-by and live out my predestined life here on Earth. Nothing big, nothing special…just a clay, molded to add to the headcount of this world. Or maybe, I’m just here to spread love and not enjoying it myself. It’s painful, but someone has to do the dirty job. But at least give me a bloody SIGN!!! God!! Chey….!

I don’t know what to do either. So don’t look to me for answers. I’m only trying out this method whether it’s workable, so pleaseeeeeeeeee keep to the confines of the agreement, i.e. no contact…even by sms/msn. But so far, you’ve have already breached all of them, so what’s the point now??? I know you’re hurting and don’t want to feel abandoned, but it’s only for a few days you’ll be feeling this way, so bear with it!! Aaaaarrrggghhh!!! Man! I think you still don’t know the rules and purpose. But I don’t blame you either. SO……just keep to yourself and stay that way till time’s up. Cya in June…if we still meet up……..

Tired…too much counter attacks since the break-up. Beginning to lose my self-image and inner soul. Just hoping this is the right thing to do, and I get it right the last time. No regrets and no good byes.

Thoughts...Ponder? hmmm...

I have so many thoughts in a day, I wish I can encapsulate all of them and ponder on it when I’m free. I reckon it will intriguing and fun. As much as discovering new territories and land! In local context, as good as striking S$10 million in the Toto draw.

Sometimes it’s like déjà vu. Feels like it happened before, but then again, never. It’s so weird and funny. Sometimes, I would just pull my hair when I couldn’t differentiate the both of them. Hahahah…can be irritating at times :p Anyway, it’s just a thought of mine to dot this down, and what better way than writing it and posting in my blog. There! Done! 2 entries in a day…pretty daunting, but fulfilling. Kekek…

Love vs Career

People say when your love life is blossoming, your professional career will not be smooth sailing, and vice versa. But for me, it’s BOTH things that aren’t smooth sailing. I guess, I’m in the rut again. It’s a bloody vicious cycle.

Little to spend, and every month has to watch my spending. It’s a damn tedious routine and it’s starting to get to me. I’m weary and lost the zest for life. Come this Friday, I’m gonna make the biggest decision in my entire life, i.e. telling Irene that we should call for a time-out. I’m just hoping to minimize the impact by treating her to movie and dinner yesterday. You can say it’s to make me feel better, but seriously, I’m not. It’s never easy for such matters, no matter how many times you did it.

So, come 30th Feb, 0000hrs, I should have make my stand, cry a whole lot and increase the headcount of heart broken females by 1.

My heart is made of flesh too. I will feel sad, but it’s more of gloominess and depression rather than out-front tears and mucus. What is said, will be said; and what will be done, should be done. By the stroke of midnight, everything will be changed and 2 lives will never be the same again…ever. I just hope she does not give up the thought of marriage again and really does hope she finds a guy a million times better than me. That would be my greatest wish.

Nothing better to do today...kekek

Had an ok day today. Pulling my hair out now!! Nothing much to do except for the change of instructions from my PM for new vessels. Seems like for every new vessel, there will be revised instructions. So bloody contradicted. Sian…anyway, not gonna stay here for long, so not gonna bother about her. And that thought belongs to other 3 other colleagues of mine. All just waiting for the fat bonus and get the hell out of HERE!! Hahahaha…

Aiyo, as the day passes, the more feminine I “think” I’m becoming. Hmmm…not sure how I derived that feeling or longing. Think I could become the next Jay Manuel (he’s the CD in America’s Next Top Model). Girly but yet keeping my man form ; ). Sounds tempting…kekekke…nah…gonna hold that thought in the back burner unless I go berserk. Hahahah… :p It feels more fun being gay than a guy. I think it comes with the package. Fun=gay?? I reckon they found in themselves their true selves and allowing that to surface and facing the world. A world that shun their species. But heck them, they go from strength to strength, and become stronger mentally.

Sweets For My Sweet??

Late Post dated 18 Feb 08

Slept for over 8hrs and I still feel tired. At least I didn’t feel the need to sleep on the train :) I guess that’s a good start? Kekeke…in that case, I must sleep at 9pm tonite! Gods MUST BE CRAZY!!…well, that term suits me just fine ;)

Watched Sweets for my Sweet, and the guests were Jamie Yeo & Daniel Ong. They made a great couple!! I’m rather surprised though. Coz not all celeb couples are that lovey dovey. They were just INFECTIOUS!! Both were bubbly and jovial all the time. I think they complement one and other very well. Just like a scoop of cold, vanilla ice-cream on a warm chocolate brownie. Yum yum! That’s what they are like. When the melted ice-cream fuses into the moist brownie, it’s just heavenly…aahhhhhhh….so sweet hor.. hahahah….that’s how the situation was like on TV. Even Jade and Michelle also cannot tahan. Hahahaha…so swwwweeeeett that they almost puke!!

Wedding bells on the cards?? I betcha it will be real soon… ;)

Month of February

All the festivities are almost done and dusted. V-day’s past, CNY is coming to an end this Thursday, 21st. Collected my red packets but yet to bank in :), however I reckon it’s gonna hit 1K and above. Kekeke…

So far, February has been kind to me. Lotsa activities and happening events coming along. Parties (healthy ones, of coz!), exercise (about time I start my regime again), talk shop (my business venture), facial (mircoderma) and brow-trimming!! (need to schedule a day to do it before month end :p) So, there you have it…my schedule for the month! Feels very shiok with so much going on. What I miss most is my sleep. Haven’t been sleeping since my FM game arrives in my hand. Been clicking my mouse from dawn to dawn!! Haha…no joke! So tonite, I’m gonna sleep early @ 9.30pm!! Seems like primary school days, but I need the hours man. ; )

Beauty and fitness is the theme. And not forgetting fun as well…LOTS OF IT!!! Mmmuuaaacckkk!!!

Beauty Treatments

As I promised, here’s the review of the beauty services I’ve tried on Saturday. For the brow-trimming, it’s fast, cheap and their friendly service is their No.1 strength. Only spent about 15mins there and off to Nik’s Maple clinic for my micro-dermabrasion. Spent 1-1/2hrs and it’s worth every min!! coz, I fell asleep during the treatment. Hahahah…but I only sleep after the Extraction step, which is also known as squeezing blackheads. *pain!!* :p The massage of various lotion on my face was really relaxing. Really looking forward to my next visit in March. At first, I would ask what were the ingredients she used, but after that, I couldn’t be bothered coz it’s too comfy!! The air-con’s at a comfortable temperature, unlike the other beauty salons I’ve been to, which can be freezing cold. This is just nice and you girls can wear a tank top and bers, and you’ll still be toasty under the blankets. :)

Off to the next beauty treatment! Hmmmm…keeping fit is on my mind now. Getting too fat of late, need to run off those pounds and get those firm legs back!! Been 2 months since my last run. *bloody hell!!* Haiz, left 3 days to run…hopefully can cheat my body to thinking I’ve ran for 3 weeks and trim down my fats. Hahahaha…

Friends For Thought..Can't LIVE w/o Them ; )

Had the best hair-day yesterday!! Ever since I cut my hair 2 weeks back, I never had a good hair-day. The uncle cut so short at the top and my hair has to be comb back like Shanghai Tang. Hahhah…but now, it’s better and today I also had good hair-day. Kekeke…so happy! :p hope it will continue to CNY & Forever!! Hahahaha…had a good skin-day as well..everything’s been so nice and good :) I think I’ll be even “prettier” after my brow-trimming and micro-dermabrasion. Like what Jo said, I will be prettier than her..hahaha…so nice hor ; ) *we’ll be pretty together ok…kekek..*

If you girls wanna go for cheap brow-trimming, go to Lucky Plaza #03-54, Eternal Beauty. Only $5!! Where to find?! It’s good recommendation from Jo. My appointment will be this coming Sat, so I’ll kiv you girls after that ya. Will comment on the skills for you. :p Then after that will be my micro thingy. (that’s what Jo called it..hahahah) Lucky got slot loh, if not will be in March liao. I counted my lucky stars!! Kekeke…so happy!! Yippee!! :p feeling all girly again…

Really feel happier when I’m with my friends. Even compared to the past (when Irene & myself are still happy together), the companionship from friends is different and to me, it’s very precious. I will just light up and become more chatty and cheeky. :p Most probably becoz I feel more at ease with them and we complement each other’s strengths and weaknesses. We are so good in a group. Almost impenetrable. :)

Lastly, when Jo told me how happy she was when she came over to retrieve her stuff, I feel very sweet loh. Don’t know why, but just feel sweet loh. And she stayed less than 5 mins! So far, no one has said that to me. Not even Irene (she will feel envious coz she can’t get this at her home..maybe more on the jealousy side though). My folks are always extra nice to her, just like she’s their daughter. I always feel very comforting when my friends can communicate so well with my family. But this Jo ah, always very chatty and all my aunties also know her. Hahahah…though she didn’t visit for quite some time now, they still emit the same warmth as ever. Maybe they should keep her as god-daughter. Hmmmm…a food for thought.

A New J&J is in town!!

A new J&J is in town. It’s Jo & Jo…eh…to be premise, it’s Jo(anne) & Jo(seph) kekek…a budding love is in the making and the latest news were crazy!! He made the 1st move!! I shall not take the glory of announcing it. Shall leave it to the owner to tell you folks. Kekeke… :p

Seems like my bestest friends have ‘J’ in their names. Jed & Jess and now, Jo & Jo. I’m fated with Js and the number 17. hahah…coz my previous girlfriends’ and my wife’s birthday falls on 17th. What are the odds!!!??? Unbelievable. It’s more than 1/1,000,000. it’s more like 1/1,000,000,000!! Anyway, I’m not important now. Everyone’s been fast to tie the knot. Another girlfriend of mine may hold her wedding this year-end. Seems like everyone is rushing into this. Is it the “clock’s” ticking or the ultimate act of love? I’ll let u decide.

In a nutshell, all love is great. Pursue it and you shall reap rewards. You go, girl!!

A Modern Day Peter Pan..can I truly be one??

I feel the need to write. Write about anything. Need to get the “thing” out of my system! What thing, I don’t know, but I know I just need to write to relieve myself of this boredom, stifle-ness, and more locally apt, sian-ness. Whenever I feel this way, I’ll write. Either this or watch my tv and play Football Manager at the same time. In the past, I would go to the arcade and shoot some bad guys, but now I seldom do that. Maybe becoz I’m working and no time for that anymore. Somehow I always credit all the restrictions and bad phenomenon on her. I just feel bitter lah. Marriage seems to restrict my life instead of enriching it. Now I realize I’m not suited for this holy matrimony. At least not now. Not in the next 5 years.

I don’t wanna blame her for the rest of our lives together. I may become (but highly unlikely) a wife-beater eventually. If that’s the case, she better move aside before I transform into that, sooner rather than later.

I’m feeling vexed about my marriage ever since we tied the knot. Even more so in the last few months. There’s really a knot in my chest, waiting for me to untie. Only me. I can’t breathe at times and I feel I’m going crazy. I just can’t take this lying down. It’s like forcing it down my throat. I reckon no one can understand what I’m going through except those who have been in my shoes, and I don’t expect my pals to understand as well. It’s way out of their league and rather not imposes on them on such matters. I still want them to view me as the fun-loving and jovial guy who brings joy rather than gloom and sadness. I want to be Nick again. The same Nick 5 years back and even 10 years back. He’s such a nicer person and down to earth. And he still is! But now, he’s hiding within the other Nicks’ that I portray everyday to other people. He’s suffering and I’ll try to bring him out whenever I can and as long as I can. I’m trying to cut down the number of façades, to show people the real me, but mostly just take advantage and the real Nick will just hide back in the closet.

I liken myself as the modern day Peter Pan. The kid who refuses to grow up and ignored the things that they expect him to know. On the outside, I’m maturing (i.e. getting older), but on the inside, I’m still a kid. A kid with little expectations and fun is the appetizer, entrée and dessert, every single day! I’m still not prepared to be an adult. I can father a child, but he/she would most likely to be me. Another Peter Pan or Wendy. I would want them to grow up in a restriction-less environment and let their creativity runs wild. I want them to have the things that I can’t have and beyond. At the same time, teach them the ways of the world to prevent others from hurting them. Always be truthful to oneself and live life to the fullest. That should be their motto for life, not mine. ‘coz mine’s always decided…It can’t be undone…I’m weak and I caused the downfall of myself and I blame no one.

All said and done, I wouldn’t want my children to be like me, would I?

Irene's 30th Birthday

Yesterday, celebrated Irene’s 30th birthday. The big 3 ‘O’. The location was perfect as the amenities were of abundance and lotsa shopping for the girls. Most importantly, everyone had a good time. :)

Deep down, I was actually relieved. Relieved, because I’ve come full circle in terms of organizing birthday parties for every single friend (close ones) of mine, including hers. A giant load was removed and I felt liberated, literally. I feel I’ve done my part and it’s time for me to die. There’s nothing more I can contribute and it’s time. Time for me to seek greener pasture and start this cycle again. It’s like I’m Charlize Theron in Sweet November, whereby she’s dying and seek a new man every month to help them realize the simpler things in life and spend time with their family and loved ones, instead of digging in their heels deep in their work. When the time’s up, she’ll let him go and he becomes a better man.

She’s selfless and only wanting the world to be a better place with the little time she has on Earth. I totally feel her thoughts and being in her shoes is tough, but someone has to do the dirty job. I just feel it gotta be me :p I hope I can carry on that legacy with whatever capacity I have and help as much as I can.

Love is Sweet..Hot & Sexy..I WANNA FALL IN LOVE ALL OVER AGAIN!!

I wanna fall in love all over again!! I even dreamt about it last night! The setting was in Paris @ an al fresco café along the riverside. So idyllic, so comforting. Somehow, I always dreamt of Caucasian girls. Oh well, they are my dream partners all this while. Kekeek…it’s all Jo’s fault! All the talking about the thrill of budding relationship makes me drool with envy. Hahahah…but I’m really happy for her. Happy that she found a new love (I got a gut feeling it will bear fruit. Confirm!) and a new goal in life. She’s gushing with “awwwww” and “ahhhh” whenever the doctor is asked or mentioned. 1st time on the phone and it lasted 45mins! What does that tell you my friends? It’s OBVIOUS!! Both of them are obviously attracted to one another. Awwwwwwwww, it’s so sweet….I can’t take it. I WANNA BE IN HER SHOES ALSO!! The infatuation of romance is so strong that sex can’t hold a candle to it. So good hor…I wish I can be in her shoes.

Just hope she’s gonna have a wonderful life hereafter. ; )

Happy 2008!!

Happy New Year everyone!! 1st day to work and I’m already sick. Kekeek..just came back from the doc’s. Taking a MC tomorrow. Yipppeee!!

Got a surprise today from my baby sis. She gave me a day free trial @ Fitness First. So sweet rite…but other fitness centres gives more than a day. Normally a week or 3 months. Quite stingy hor. :p But nonetheless, I’m going next Friday after work. Yve will be there, so hopefully I can bump into her :)

The year kickstart to a pretty decent start. Just hope it will gain momentum and can only gets better.

Hmmm…hope I can gain more girlfriends lik Jo, i.e. share the same mentality, personality (craziness and easy-going) & love shopping!! I just feel these people keeps me happy and hope I can get to know them..hopefully :p Oh ya!! And she must stay within 1km of my home radius..hahahaha..it’s not impossible. Just need more effort & LOTSA LOTSA Luck.

Kudos to my dearest girlfriend, baby sista, good buddies for being here for me in 2007 and continuing to stay here in 08 as well. Love ya lots!!