Down Memory Lane...

Late Posting dated 9 Mar 08

Was flipping through memory lane and it evoked a sense of nostalgia and guilt. Time really flies. Gone were the years of a chubby baby and innocence. I saw how I grew up; the things, the people and the love that comes with it. My family has always been closely knitted and strong. I could cry while flipping the photos; but it didn’t flow.

Somehow, I’m very guilty of letting my folks down when I reflect on my present situation. They had brought me up from a tiny baby, to the present me. 25 years on, and I have yet to make them proud. The matrimony of Irene and myself may have been the proudest moment for them, but now, I’ve crushed their pretty picture. How am I gonna tell them? How can I face them from now on? A child whom they place high hopes on becoming someone useful. A child whom they devote their whole lives to protect, provide and love wholeheartedly. A child whom they want him to have happiness and love, when they have passed on. :( sob sob…have I been such a failure to fulfill such simple requests? So just why can’t I do it, the simple way?

I hope I can explain to them eventually and they can accept it..

Earlier on, met up with Justin, and his situation had been resolved. He broke up with his girlfriend. In fact, she initiated it. To me, I feel it’s a better move for the both of them. I can sense his anguish as he put in lots of effort and heart to this relationship, but it turned out negatively. It is exactly what Irene and I is facing. She’s in Justin’s shoes while I’m in Cindy’s (his girlfriend). Deep down, I know it will be better, so everyone can move on and seek greener pastures or at least, reflect on the past and gain insight on their relationship-managing skills and their own characters.

Relationships can keep a person going, but also can “kill” them off mentally. It should be fun, loving, interesting and embracing. Once doubts and distrust have entered into the relationship, it will cause a stir and jeopardize it, if not resolve tactfully and amicably. Simple? But it ain’t as easy as it looks. Some will have smoother ride than the others. However, for those who weathered the storm, the relationship will be stronger and worth the time/effort to make this last a lifetime.

Very interesting issues we have to tackle in our daily lives at this phase of our lives. I guess at every phase, there is something that is sticky and needs our utmost attention all the time. It used to be our studies. Now it’s relationship and work. In 10 years time, it will be family. But how many of us can boast that in time to come? Surely I don’t count myself as a strong candidate, though I wish I can have that worry in my mind like my close peers. :)