What's your talent?

What's yr talent? hmmm...i don't know mine even after 24yrs!! Kinda distrubing...i always believe we are made to do something on Earth. Something unique from others...what's yours, if you've found it??

Now preparing for X'mas, so gotta send out ideas for brain-storming...hahahah...hope it will be better than 2006. Gotta run off and write the email now, Jo... :p

You guys just remember to reply me fast...and i mean FAST!!

I wanna be a DAD!!

Just watched the show, The Game Plan. Pretty good and heart warming. Suddenly have the urge to go have a kid right now!! Hahahah…coz the kid is so cute and you wish you’re the dad. Maybe my biological clock is beginning to tick. :p But I’m always worried my kid will turn out wrong…maybe too educated and watched too much documentaries. Make you kinda uptight about conceiving. Anyway, I love kids, so I hope they will come soon but I’m pretty sure it’s not gonna with my wife.

Reassessing the situation now, so no worries guys, I know what I’m doing :) Back to kids, they are so cute and lovely but also a lifetime of commitment. So must make doubly sure before doing the most major thing in your life.

Have kids, that’s where you’ll truly know the meaning of love…pure innocent love ; )

A Day Out.

Today I’m on leave. Went out shopping as planned & even caught a movie, Pleasure Factory. Think the movie adds more emotions to my already blue mood. The story line and music are the culprits. It’s such a sad story and made me think back on all the bad things I’ve done and the material stuff that I’ve bought & intend to buy. I feel so small…anyway with the heavy mood and dark skies (I hate shopping on rainy days!!), I dragged myself to go shopping. Can’t believe I’m saying that!! Drag myself to shopping??!!! Where did that come from?? :( But when after the show, at lobby I saw my 1st crush!! Hahahaha….didn’t call out to her, but of all places and time. The 1st thought is, “she don’t need to work??”. Anyway, it’s pretty nice to see the people I met in my earlier years. She’s my crush in Pri.5. :)

Then went Suntec for some window shopping. Saw 1 of my camp mates, but still I didn’t call out to him. Just saw him walked past. So today, I’d seen 2 people I know. Feels pretty nice.

But I guess I’ll have to record today in my top 10 list of “Worst day of my life”. Rainy weather, sad movie (suppose to be a R21 show!!), too many thoughts surrounding my personal life have really made my leave day a lousy one. A VERY lousy one. Was thinking a lot, A LOT today, even when I’m watching tv. Having suicidal intents again and I’m really, seriously, thinking of engaging a shrink. Have always be bugging by this issue for so long. I wonder when can I resolve this.

1 big discovery I found in facebook is that, Irene’s in it too!!! Found out when I invite my contacts in yahoo address book. Wah!!! Think it’s the biggest discovery since our relationship begins. She didn’t tell me, but I always have the curiosity to find out. But it’s unintentional when I saw her. Hmmm…I’m ok with it, coz she’s entitled to her privacy as well. I’m just shocked..literally. Anyway, no big deal :)

Then on Sun, when I told her I’m going Shanghai with my female colleague for business. She was rather upset via sms. She said she’s uncomfortable but there’s nothing she can do, as she’s feeling insecure and stuff. And she’s said we are drifting apart (the usual thing she will say when we are not close) and after that, she told me to enjoy my leave. Wah kao!! After saying those things, how to enjoy rite!? Haiz…anyway I’m back home writing this blog instead of shopping. Totally no more mood liao. I guess, when I’m emotional, good or bad, I tend to write it down rather than saying it out, coz it will take forever! I can be nagging at times…hahahaha…

Hope this phase will pass fast and I can get on with my life. Or I can see the shrink. Any recommendations?

p.s I need X’mas to be perfect to end 2007 on a high note. And I’m gonna get my Trek bike by end year, after my bonus!! Kekekeek… :p

Jo, my BEST-EST gf!!

Been an ok wk. My dad bought a new digi cam!! It’s the newest Lumix!! 8 mega pixel..now I can take more pretty pics with it, and w/o the red eye effect…arrrggghhhh.. :p

Had supper with Charles and Jo. Pretty good and relaxing. Hope it can last forever. Really need the time out with my pals, esp Jo…miss her lots when I’m feeling down. Don’t know what I’ll do when she’s away. Just like the time when she’s in Aussie. But I’m just glad she’s back for good. I guess she’s like my pillar of strength, even though she’s not by my side most of the times. But because we connect at a level where no one can go to, I feel she’s the only one who can understand me, and I can truly be myself, i.e. being all girly and stuff…hahahahah…and there’s no judgement, I’m very sure of that!!

She’s my best-est friend EVER!! Love her lots and it hurts when she’s sad and tear. I don’t know how to put it in words lah. But it transcends beyond basic friendship, coz we are always standing by each other and try to be there for one another. We just LOVE each other too much!! And losing our friendship is totally out of our question.

I don’t know what I’ll do when she’s married and have a family of her own..hmmmm…I guess, I’ll miss her lots ba. Just don’t move her home too far from mine, if not it will be even more difficult to meet up!!! Aaaaaahhhhhhhh!!! That’s unimaginable!!! Hahahahah…

This post is just for her. Don’t think I dedicate a whole post to her yet, so it’s about time I do it. Coz I love my best buddy, best-est gf, best-est shopping companion..kudos to the best human who has prettify my life in the last 6 years and more to come.

Love you!! Muacckkk!!! *hugz*

Deepest thoughts...on the edge...

All my life, I’ve been pleasing people, being there for them and be their friend/confidante…but when it’s my turn to be depressed/sad/suicidal, where’s everybody? And of all times, I have to choose to be in this state of mind when everybody’s busy with school/work/lives. Just my luck, isn’t it?? God, how come you’ve created me this way?? Why do I have to endure all this??!! I’m your child, but why can’t feel any love and care in this world, where I’ve given out so much to other, but received none. Am I not deserving of such love? I’m flesh and blood, body and soul too. Can you take a pity on me and give a little more to me in this period of desperation..?? I’m begging and asking, as you said,“ ask and you shall receive”. And I’m sincerely doing that now.

They said, “walk a mile in their shoes before judging them”, but I’ve walked in so many of them, felt their needs and empathize with them. But has anyone really walked in mine?? Is being a goody two-shoe, nice guy always an easy target for bullies and unfair treatment? What it takes to live on this planet? Questions questions questions…who can truly answer them?????????????????????????

I tried my best to treat everyone equally and help within my power to make each party happy, but always gone unappreciated. No “thank you” or “謝 謝”or “sorry for all the trouble you’ve gone through”. I’m always saying all these but never on the receiving end of such compliments and gratitude. I’m such a safe guy and playing it safe all my life. Sometimes I just wanna let it all out, but the consequences will be disastrous. Tried once and got a heated argument with my dad. It’s not worth in the end. Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!

I can safely say that I’m a good friend to my close friends, and try my best to be there for them. I hope they felt that too. Your good friend here, really need some loving here, if you are reading this. I don’t need words, just a shoulder to lean on and lots of love. Love, that I can take to the grave with; held closely to my heart. I can forsake love of another woman but I can never do without love from my family and friends (only the closest ones). As I’m growing up, I am slowly realizing that loving another woman is becoming less important, and what I must pursue is, friendship love. The closest kind. The kind that is pure, no prejudice, and ever committed. No storm can waver this bond. I need that. Deep and long-lasting.

I finally learn the true meaning of soulmate. After so many years of watching drama serials and being in so many different relationships (i.e. friendship, family, BGR), the definition is simple. A person whom you will turn to when you in trouble/sad/happy/afraid, and she/he is the 1st person you can think of, way after the honeymoon period. A person whom you can share a meaningful conversation with and feeling no inhibitions when baring your soul. A person who gives meaning to your life and adds value to your existence. A person who knows how to make you tick, emotionally/sexually/physically. Is it very difficult to find here, in Singapore?? It’s sure is, coz I haven’t found mine yet. “YET”, is a good word to use here, meaning there’s still hope of searching during your time on Earth. It may takes a lifetime to find it, but I wouldn’t mind doing that, if it takes me to every corner of the Earth. But I reckon, by the time I reach the 1st corner, I may be too old to reach others.


I think this time round; I’ve really reached my max. With my training on hold, I’m feeling more and more lethargic and having a wandering mind. Thinking too much is certainly bad for health. Don’t know how come all those great man can think so much everyday…hmmmm…I think I’ve to join Serene in Down Under. Hahahah…seriously, I’m contemplating that, but it just doesn’t fit into my schedule. The next plan is, getting a bike and starts cycling and gets my training regime back on track, all at once. I hope I can find the strength (mental) to kick-start all these again. Feeling very drained from thinking about Irene and me. All the permutations/outcomes/consequences are killing me everyday. I just can’t get it out of my system!!

I don’t like to rely people on emotional needs, coz I know they can’t always be around when I need them. I would wallow in self-pity instead of intruding on others. I don’t wanna owe anybody anything. I don’t wanna them to feel obliged to do it for me, just because they are my friend and unable to reject me (coz I’d been there for them). I don’t want that. I DON’T NEED THAT. I just need a friend to have a conversation with and share the good times of the past.

Can you do that?

24th Nov 1982...25 yrs on..

Had a pleasant surprise last fri at work. Someone sent me flowers!! Hahahah…actually I know who it is when I received the phone call from my receptionist. Coz she’s the only person who will send me flowers out of so many friends. And also, only she and my wife have my office address, so that makes the guessing much, much more easy. It’s Tracy!! Kekeke…she was weird from that morning onwards, asking me whether I’m working that day. But still it didn’t struck me as something funny, coz she’s always forgetful. Anyway, when I got the flowers and got a few stares and looks…the feeling’s SHIOK!! Reckon I’m the only guy in my level, or maybe the entire building, to have flowers at his desk. It’s 6 stalks of white rose with a cute teddy. She’s the sweetest, isn’t she?! And it smell pretty nice too. Most probably it’s my 1st and last time ever, to receive flowers from the female species.

Very heartwarming and very special. Definitely made my day and days to come. This is my month. It’s my birthday. Another year past, another year older. Well, any wishes? Nothing in mind though. Good health to my family and myself, and my close friends too. But the biggest wish of all might have to be, to be able to rid myself of the predicament I’m having between Irene and myself. Hope it will be settled, bad or good.

Gonna live in the moment and enjoy myself while I can and planning my X’mas shopping way ahead of time to get prezzies for everyone I love.

Love ya.

Shitty Bullies

I always have the impression that buyers/purchasers are very prestigious posts and unrivalled. But reality sinks in and it’s totally loop-sided. People will make use of us to arrange purchases and I mean, EVERYBODY. There’s no “please” or “excuse me” here. You just have to do it, even you’re not asked to directly. So, whenever you see “S&P”, you know you got a job at hand, without being told. And if by any chance you didn’t see it, arrows will come piercing through your heart, and people will hound after your blood. Even so, we still have to be polite and courteous, at our boss’s instructions. We can be assertive but not rude, and always be professional. How to do that, when everybody else’s is not doing it. It’s not fair. LIFE’S NOT FAIR. Grow up now!!

When they need our help, they are very nice. But even that, is on the rare occasion. And when we require their assistance (even on the minute basis), they will be haughty and shun us away like houseflies. We are like admin, but come to think again, it’s WORST than admin. Even the cleaners garner more respect than us. There’s no respect for our services and personnel. Luckily, we are a tight group. We look out for one and another and make a mockery out of life. Laughter and rowdiness are the main staples of our daily routine. We are the envy of the company. Coz, we are able to talk loudly and anyway we like it. Our job requires us to do that. Hahhaahah…it’s a blessing. Being able to express ourselves amongst the hustle and bustle in this job, is a MUST HAVE. You must be thinking my colleagues are all youngsters, but you will be surprised that mature workers can be twice as fun. The age group falls in the 50s. I’ve 3 “uncles” aged 55, 50 and 1 at 62!! The rest sums up at 34, 28 and 31. I’m the youngest at 24½. Hahahaha…

Back to the subject, bullying has always been a constant in our lives, but afraid to put a stop to it, even if it happens to us. We are totally hopeless!! Especially us, Singaporeans. We are not street-wise and less is always more. So, we will be minding our own business and rid of any troubles that can implicate our lives further. We don’t need that anymore. Our work and personal life are already in a mess; we definitely do not need more shit from these troublemakers.

Cheering my baby sis on!

only writing this bcoz my sista needs it...kekeke...hope she pass her TP tmr and get her licence soon!!! i'm totally shagged...gonna slp now...nite babes...

p.s hate doing new ships...shitty work... :(

Appreciate ALL our Foreign Workers..Regardless of Color!!

When you think of expats, what’s the first thing that pops in your mind? White collared Caucasian men/women buzzing around in their BMWs, right? That’s stereotyping. How come, whenever people mentioned expats, it’s always the Caucasians that gets all the attention and glory? And every time we speak of foreign workers, it’s always the same old nationalities that make it to the list, i.e. Indian, Bangladeshi, Indonesian. We have to be fair and not labeling them in such a way. As long as they are not Singaporeans, and are working on a permit, they are foreign workers. Simple as that, colors aside. Please give credit to those lowly paid foreigners, who are actually contributing to our GDP. They may not be well-educated and living in condos, but they literally build our nation with their bare hands. They sweat it out almost 7 days a week, long hours, inferior living quarters and simple fare. On top of that, they still need to face our discriminating glares. I’m sure they don’t need that. I always feel we can do something good for them. The most recent is, the government enforcing companies to insure their workers with insurance. I think it’s about time we do something for them, especially the “foreign workers”. At least, if something bad happened to them, their families get some form of compensation.

I don’t have anything against the white collared expats, but I just feel that us, Singaporeans, should also show our appreciation to those who slog it out in adverse weathers and acknowledging their efforts to the nation. As our pledge goes, “Regardless of race, language or religion”, we should embrace everyone who makes Singapore what it is today, and better in the future.

Go Go Go!!!

I’m officially bored now. Kekek…writing my blog during office hours AGAIN! :p nothing much I can do in Singapore over the nights and weekends. Been waiting the right time to go overseas for my R&R. Thailand seems like a nice place to go, given the extra info on a farm stay near Korat Province, 2hrs drive from Bangkok. (it’s written in last Sunday Times, 14 Oct.) Air-con tent, suddenly sounds very tempting and soothing. The pictures are amazing and makes me wanna go there straight away! Hoping it will materialize soon…very very soon…

Completed a book by Skoko Tendo, Yazuka Moon. It’s an autobiography by a yazuka’s daughter’s life. It’s a true account and it’s damn sad but a wake up call for people who are trapped in their lives and no one to turn to. They should read this. Simple, but moving. If you’re emotional enough, she could shed a tear or two. Deep down, I hope the best for her and her baby daughter. Hope her life will turn for the better and all her suffering will be behind her and finally she can find a really good man and settle down. She’s been thru hell, back and went straight back in. So much so that, you think it’s so surreal you can’t believe she really went thru all that shit. She’s a strong character and I hope to emulate her spirit. It’s really the spirit of the yazuka. Undeterred, calm, self-sacrificing. Wooo…a little too much for me to do all those. I’ll try my hardest to be like that. The weird part is, after reading the book, it has a calming effect and I’m at peace with myself. Hmmm…voo-doo? Hahaha…I think it’s just me.. :p

Have the urge to write my biography now! Keke…maybe with enough “force”, I might just do it soon. (Jo was the one who encouraged me to do so) Well, I’ll keep on it and update you guys, if it really becomes a reality. *crossing my fingers* Need not be the next J.K Rowling. Just be myself, Nicholas Leong, will do…will do…it’s all that matters..Me and myself. In one, at last.

End of a emotional week...hmmm...

Yesterday, had lunch with my detested supplier, Unitor. Talked about she’s being very lucky with maid to look after her chores and her mum taking care of the baby. She’s pregnant now, so she may rope in her mum-in-law if more help is required. The thing that left a bad taste in my mouth is that, she can proudly say she only bathed her first born once!! Once!! My god…what kind of mother are you??!!! Then she talked about not being there for the kid and unable to take care of her as she’s always working late. Everyone said she got good life. ‘Coz got so many people look after her kid. She further added on that she’s working hard in this society to provide for them. Then some of the ladies, who are also mums (who cannot tahan), said they are also working and taking care of their kids as well. Then she giggled softly.. Pai Seh!! With a capital P and S!! Without the mother and child bond, the relationship is definitely not strong. It’s so typical of the younger people now. The executives and yuppies. Depends on maid on this and that. Even child raising also leave it to them. They think all they need to do is, “Fuck and Go”. Where got such thing!!??? You need to educate and inculcate the right values to them as well. What kind of parents are they?? They are not FIT..!! :(

Another down point of the week >>> One of my colleagues from the bunker department is bloody inconsiderate and insensitive. I used to pity him ‘coz everyone also dun like him because of his erratic behavior. But now, I’m slowly leaning towards the majority. ‘coz he’s really an insensitive ASSHOLE!! I’m those who’s always in favor the weak and minority, but he’s too much that I can’t tahan anymore..arrrgghh!! Don’t why I’m still friends with him. Always criticize people on their outlook. There’s a new temp guy and he’s kinda shy and soft, so he judged him as sissy. And there’s other guy, who’s in his 40s, tall and fit, but kinda gayish, and he deemed him as unfit just because he doesn’t have rippling muscles like he do. This colleague of mine, really got no brain. How can compare fitness to muscles. Call himself a bodybuilder. STUPID ASSHOLE!! Other times, he’s just a jester, making a fool of himself. He really thinks that the whole world owes him SOMETHING. Haiz…he just got a pathetic life!! And I mean it!! DEAD ON!! Only gym, home, night class. Nothing else. If I’m a girl, I wouldn’t even wanna be close to him. He don’t even respect women!! Let alone bedding one. GET A LIFE BRUDDER! How’s that right in your face!!

Being Alive is a Blessing

It’s me again. It’s a time where I’m free in my office hours to write my blog…kekeke…actually was suppose to post this last nite, but my sis was using, so couldn’t do it. Anyway, I was lost in my train of thoughts and forgotten what I wanted to write. :p These thoughts were floating in my mind during my run last night. Here’s the lowdown >>>

1. A age whereby I do not yearn for a relationship.
Hmmm…I guess it’s because of the situation I’m in now. My relationship with my wife wasn’t fantastic, so this plays a major part of it. Too many “things” I do not like about her, i.e. physical and my feeling towards. I know I know!! I know I’ve broached on this subject before, but this thought’s always in my mind whenever I feel negative towards her. I don’t know whether I should keep trying or give it up. It may be the best thing for the both of us. No point struggling to keep this relationship going and be miserable. No one has the courage to come forth and say, "Ok this is enough! It’s time to settle this and it will be better for us to go our separate ways. Period." Apparently, I’m not the strong one here. In fact, it’s her. She can bring a smile to her face whenever she sees me, not knowing where the relationship is heading. She’s willing to keep this going as long as I do not mention “divorce”.

I feel that I’m becoming the man that I loathe in my single-hood days, i.e. chauvinistic man. As long as I bring the bacon home, I need not care about the wife. But I guess it’s because he don’t love his wife anymore. I’m becoming the man that all drama serials love to portray vividly and it’s not I wanna become. I wanna get out of this dreaded cycle and leave my hometown behind me and start afresh, alone. I got tons of ideas and things I wanna do NOW, and I can do much better without the ring on my 4th finger. I can go on and on and on on this topic, but there’s no better way than writing what I feel and looking back (and reflecting) on my thoughts and actions.

2. Feisty M’sian women
I don’t know much about these women, but those in my workplace are totally bummer. All are loud, feisty like chilli padi and bloody inconsiderate. It’s as if they want everyone to incur their wrath. I’ll say, “FUCK OFF!! And get a LIFE!!” This woman (see why I never use the word “lady”, 'coz she don’t deserve that term) from my Finance department, always come down and looks like the whole world owes her. For your info, she’s no hot chick. Anyway, this week, she came down and couldn’t find the invoice, so she cursed and swear, how come it’s gone…“they have legs and could run away”. Oh come on! Be professional. Find it yourself. Stop being a SPOILT BRAT!! Just because you’re pregnant, doesn’t mean you can be a tyrant and roam the office like everyone got to give in to you, BITCH!. That brings me to this point. HOW THE FUCK SHE GOT MARRIED??!!! What’s so good in her that a man is willing to lay down his life for her??? I don’t see any quality that marks her a great wife and doting mom. I pity the kid who’s gonna inherit the same shit as her. Hopefully, her dad’s genes are much MUCH well off than hers…..BITCH..

3. Almost died from a car accident.
Last night was the 1st time I thought I could die. Just like that! This further stamps my sentiment, that life is indeed very, very fragile. I was at the cross junction, waiting the green man. Then suddenly, in a split second, I saw a taxi smash the butt of a white Toyota. The car spun like in the movies and landed on the opposite traffic light junction, before coming to a full stop. And it followed by a big “WAH” from some guy, somewhere. Don’t know who, ‘coz my eyes were so fixated on the car that I never realized, if the car spun the wrong way and back towards me, I could have died. It was bloody FAST. You definitely have no time to react!! Lucky it wasn’t a fatal accident and both drivers are perfectly fine, so I walked off. At the accident site, the stupid cyclist can even watch at the car, while it comes to a halt, then started moving his position. Bloody HELL, he’s JUST next to the car!!!! He should ran before it stops man!! Plain stupid!! Haiz….just glad all parties, including MYSELF, are good and still breathing ; )

Rainy day...in my life...kinda dark now.. : (

Was on leave today. Accomplished the things I wanted to, i.e. swim and getting my groceries. However, my biggest upset was not able to get my CDs..Apparently, Sembawang Music Store in under reno and MJ is totally into selling Chinese music only..totally SUCKS!! Anyway, my pride today is to be able to swim 100 laps in under 3hrs..in fact it’s 2hr 57mins. Pretty cool uh…kekekeke…was v happy w myself..weather wasn’t fantastic, but I managed to pull thru. It rain, stop and rain again..but it was satisfying…v shiok!!! :p

Oh ya, my wkends were pretty gd as well…my niece was v cute!! Can’t wait for her to get bigger..and I bought the mountain bike for Irene @ 250bucks…that just burnt a big hole in my pocket. Total expenditure so far since 28 Sept is, 900++. That’s why I gotta save and scrimp this month, or maybe into Nov as well. But I jus calculated by bringing lunch to work and eating out, doesn’t make any much difference. The most only 20-30cents. But mentality it makes me feel that I’m making a great effort…arrrrggghhhh…pitiful pay packet!!

Spend spend spend…lots to buy, but gotta set the priorities straight. The top now is my racer bike. Guess I’m gonna use my Dec bonus into this indulgence, IF I’m still in my current comp. Anyway, that’s another thought I don’t wanna think about it too much :)

Back to work tmr…hmmmm…time to pluck those stray eyebrows now!! Getting very ugly..hahahah..

Revive the Courtesy Campaign

This happen practically every single day. I was boarding the usual frantic evening rush hour train ride, when I realize Singaporeans will always be standing right in front of the door. Initially, they will be standing behind the allocated yellow stripes, then when the time gets nearer (I called that “shot clock”), everyone will starts to creep in slowly, but surely, to the door and wait for it to open. Passengers will be squeezing into this “gauntlet” by elbowing their way in. The most surprising thing is, no one seems to mind it! There is no discrimination of profession, age, gender or size. Even the most well-dressed man, will be doing the same thing as a 55 year old uncle!

I find it amusing at times, and giggled. I know everyone wants to go home fast and get a hot bath and a hearty meal. But in the expense of being the ugly, kiasu Singaporean, I think we have to take a backseat and reflect on our actions. I reckon it's e Asian mentality, i.e kiasu n competitive..it happens in Japan n Hong Kong as well...so it's not surprising to c it here. It’s not that I favor the ang-mohs, but their actions spell out, how well their up-bringing are. In an article I read, countries like US, Europe and somewhere closer to home, Australia, they are courteous wherever they go. For example, newspaper stands can be left unattended and patrons will still duly pay the newspaper money in the coin box or container. That is their culture. If this were to happen here, the coin box might even be gone! I’m not belittling our locals, but if everyone shows a bit more initiative, life will be much better and things like theft, petty theft (i.e. not paying money for toilet visits) and even terrorism can be minimized or ideally, gone. It always starts small, and gradually progresses into more pressing issues like saving planet earth by taking public transport etc.

These countries are better developed than us, but they are able to show bits of courtesy in their daily lives and that shows that, it just takes a bit more effort to make this happen. It’s their up-bringing and their social culture that shape their character and projecting it in their everyday lives. We can start off with our little ones and shape their behavior when it has the most impact. Hopefully, in 50 years down the road, our society can be the same of any European cities and courtesy will be in our blood; and not afraid to show it.

Our courtesy movement, since the 1980s, had seen improvement, but it’s just not good enough for us to become a truly, world-class society. The government should give the Courtesy Campaign a new lease of life and make it youthful and reach out to people at all levels, by saying, “Courtesy is easy, and it’s a way of life” sort of slogan. Let’s put away some personal gain and make our home, a better place to live, work and play in.

Everything went acdly to plan.. : )

Seems lik my wkend plan went acdly to plan..kekeke…managed to buy 3 thongs on fri ($68), went swimming on sat afternoon n later went geylang serai in e evening, n sun, jus slack at home…everything was spot-on!!! V v gd…hahaha….

So e time wil come tmr 4 me to plan my wkend agn…n it’s alrdy fillin up w spaces on my calendar..wed wil b watchin, legendary courtesan (korean) @ vivocity, thurs goin swimming, fri gonna gather my folks 4 dinner @ a restaurant, sat swimming agn n sun gonna b goin 4 my couz’s baby’s 1st mth bday n finally seein e mountain bike at my auntie’s pl…gonna get Irene e bike…abt 250bucks…we’ll c abt tt…looks lik I’m gonna get my racer bike soon too!!! Aaarrrrgggghhhh!!!!…n e damage is 1k+++…must really save hard man…still got shades, accessories to get s well…

Oh well… :p

FRIDAY!?

FRIDAY!!! AGAIN……haiz….Fridays shld b a time of joy n merry-making, but it has become monotonous 4 me of late…come wed, I’ll b there during my lunch kopi session w Justin n Kelvin, discussin wat 2 do 4 our wkends…hahaha…it used to b fun, but it’s jus a drag now… :( I tink I’m over-trained n “over-worked” but I doubt e latter…hahahah…desperately need a break…a v v long break…somewhere calm, colourful, n serenading to my soul..somewhere lik Hawaii, Madrid, Barcelona, streets of Portugal, Lombok or seeing the new wonder of the world, Petra, Jordan. These r e places I hope I can earn enough money to visit these places b4 I pass on…kekeek.. :p

Today is another beautiful day (Bless God 4 tt) n I gonna make FULL use of it by……SHOPPING!! Hahahaha….gonna head off to Chinatown Point n straight to sportsmenasia shop…to get some thongs!!! Kekekeek…I’m in e mood of underwear spree.. ; ) actu it’s bcoz they r having 25% discount during its 5yr anniversary. So it gives me e excuse to buy buy n buy…

It’s not cheap though…e prices r comparable to ladies lingerie, prices ranging frm 20+ fr a simple thong to 130+ fr a Japanese branded undies (which hv lifting effects in the front n rear)…lik I said b4,” pay so much money but wear inside, no 1 can c”…but e feeling of sexiness cannot b bought by anything, until u got e chance of donning some sensual lingerie or in my case, “nice” underwear…if e price is rite, gonna get 2-3 pairs to add on to my collection… :p tink it’s gonna set me back ard 50-60bucks…it’s payday n it’s abt time I reward myself 4 being a gd boy in e mth of sept…kekeke…coz I scrimp n save during lunch by spending only $2…n our kopi sessions r shared among e 3 of us…sometimes I pay, sometimes e other 2 foot e bill…it’s pretty gd…anyway I need to chk my mini-diary n c hw much I roughly spend last mth… :) can’t wait 2 knock-off!!!

My boss didn’t approve my leave, tt’s y I’m writing this posting during office hrs…hahahaha…if not, I’ll b baskin in e sun @ bedok swimming pool. She’s damn busy to do anything loh…our P.O also nvr sign..doubt she got e time 2 approve our leaves, unless we remind her..anyway, I dun hv anywhere to go in particular, so tt’s ok :) jus wanna expend my leave…n I deserve a break…however, 4 those who wanna date me out, I’m on leave on e 8th Oct..kekekeke..waitin 4 yr sms/calls ; )

Tmr will b goin 2 maple 4 my follow-up…hopefully it wil b fast so tt I can go 4 my swim n tannin in e afternoon…dr ong better not crash my schedule!! I need e sun man…n e sun needs me…hahahha…cravin 4 e sun-tan lines which has been eluded frm me 4 some time now…need e ray of lights to energise my body, mind n soul in 1 setting…*prayin 4 soft yet beautiful sunshine tmr* jo & mei mei, pls pray 4 me s well…I need more “power” 2 make it convincing… :p

Tis posting gonna sound draggy but I jus dun care…tink it’s my 2nd longest since e interception of my 1st blog posting…I got soooooo much time on my hand now tt I hv better nth 2 do than blogging..sue me!!

Back 2 my wkend plans…come sat evening, me n irene wl throng e streets of geyland serai n soak in all e festival mood!! Definitely food samplin is e main course of tis itinerary n seein e sights n sounds of tis annual event…it’s gonna b fun, sweaty, hot n (I reckon), somehow liberating. We cfm wl b mistaken s malay loh…it’s common, so we’re used to it…kekeek…mayb we get better discounts if we can speak some malay…(hmmm..it’s abt time I put my mind into paper by signing up 4 malay language course…kekeek)

4 sun, irene’s got swim lesson frm 1-2pm…so mayb jus relax at home or do some window shoppin ba…normally Sundays r meant 4 relaxing n doin nth!! E mood set 4 Sundays r always v slow paced…dun knw y…it’s in me or us or everyone else…mayb tt’s y God make sun the Sabbath day..no work no nth…mayb he alrdy set e mood 4 us 2000 over yrs ago n tweak our senses to believing it s being a rest day, who knows?!…kekek :p whenever I tink of sun, e tot of a warm yet coolin breeze frm e beach wl b e most ideal pl 2 b in…lazing on e sunbed, slapped on my tannin oil, w a cold cold pina colada on my rite…it’s e best thing tt could happen to me now. E tot of Nigella cookin behind me (tis tot always pops up with I tink of beach..hmmm…mayb bcoz her cookin shows always takes pl there), in e beach house, wl match up beautifully n make e picture complete…PERFECT!! Siggghhhh…(it’s a sigh of comfort n fuzziness :p) life couldn’t b any better than tis…I can’t picture it any other way…mayb a golden retriever wil b a great addtn to tis ideal scenario of mine..anyway I play God in my dreams…I can add/remove anything/anyone I deem fit…kekekeke…but in e meantime, b4 I get e PR @ Malibu, I wl hv to content w sentosa, east coast n my fav swimming pool..

I tink I hv blabber enough tots 4 e day…I’ll wait 4 nightfall 2 post more tots if any comes to mind… :)

Mid-autumn Festival...Fun or Pure Reminiscence??

Rcvd lotsa mooncakes frm my splrs tt I rejected more!! Too much to eat n I’m damn lazy 2 carry frm tanjong pagar back home…v v v cumblesome…n today even hv ice-cream frm my splr 4 sample…guess wat, I gave my colleague to bring back…kekeke..anyway it’s not e premium type, so it’s not worth e effort..

But some r really nice…v lavish package..esp e 1 I gotten frm my local splr, which he bought frm china or hong kong..at least tt’s wat e paper bag states…anyway it was so bloody gorgeous tt almost every1 in e office came to my dept, jus 2 b awed by e mooncakes…hahahah…amazing rite…but it jus keeps getting better…1 auntie called me in on e mrt where I got it frm…didn’t knw mooncake can b a centre of attraction!!?? (hw come it wasn’t a babe!!!!)

Jus wanna share it w u guys…here’s e photos of e lavish mooncake..some r filled w abalone…but trust me, it doesn’t taste tt gd…only e package makes e grade..enjoy!! n hv a lovely mid-autumn festival w yr loved ones…n not forgettin those in need of our love…hv fun!!

My friends ONLY

Need to ack e help I gotten in beautifying my blog…my baby sista, Von!!! She always initiate to help me w e blog stuff…coz I’m a total idiot when it comes 2 comp stuff…esp e new gen stuff, eg blogs, mp3, lan games etc…so I ALWAYS hv smart ppl ard 2 help me…kekeke…lik ben, shawn n my cute sis… :p

Jus wanna tell all e friends I had made in my 24yrs n counting, tt they mean a lot 2 me n definitely play a significant part, big or small, in my life…thx u 4 enrichin my life n make it even more colorful…u can ALWAYS need more colors on e canvas of life ; )

Muack muack muack muack muack muack muack muack muack muack muack muack!!!

Can’t kiss u guys enough…ehhh…only reserved 4 e babes….sorry guys, none 4 u…hahahahaah…

Hope u can continue to b part of my life forever n ever…keep on rocking babes!! ROCK ON!!

Normal wk...Unfantastic...

It’s a normal wk…at least I made it to run 18km on wed…almost didn’t make it home man…was bloody tired n tough…struggle to complete…tink I walked at least e last 5-6km…it was never-ending!!! E tot of takin a cab back keeps coming in my mind, but I preserve n made it home ard 11.10pm…imagine I started off at 7.30pm…took more than 3hrs…but my worst record is 4hrs!! hahah…start off at 7.20, finished at 11.45…hahahah…world record 4 slowest man…kekeke…but e gd thing tt happended tt nite was e courtesy of our locals…e cars stopped 4 me 2 cross n 1 incident is a malay boy stopped e cars n helped a handicapped man cross e rd…tt really touched my heart, knowing e youths today r still pretty much in sync w our moral values..thumbs up 2 our youths!!

Anyway managed to watched evan almighty on fri evening but kana sore throat aft e show ended…tink it’s e “thinner coated” chess choco my supplier gave us…got tis thinner smell which really doesn’t smell nice man…but e design was v nice loh..look actu lik a real chess set..Chinese set tt is.. ; ) so my wkend was spent w e flu bug in me…managed to crawl to e photoshoot n bbq…photoshootin was a tough job, esp if u r not smiley type, who can smile frm start to finish…I find it a hassle man…I only smile on cue…hahahaha..if not waste my smile…my smiles r precious u knw…even e photographer n e auntie also say so…kekeek…(jo shld knw tt my smiles r hard to come by..) oh ya!! Aft e photoshoot, my folks asked her abt e dinner, n she said she wanna focus on her studies now..n postpone e event 2yrs later, n my folks agreed…so tt’s 1 prob out of my mind 4 e near future..

E bbq was pretty gd..e food was fresh n succulent, but too bad I was not well, if not I’m sure to finish all e chicken hotdog n prawns!! Yum yum…n I only pay 10bucks 4 2!!!…I’m not e miser here…my colleague lagi best, he paid only 10 4 4pax!!! Hahahah…he’s e king!! All hail Javier!!.. :p

Sun was pretty lousy…waited whole afternoon 4 irene to come my pl…reach here abt 4-15 liao…tot of jalan jalan, but when e clock strikes 3, I’m all pissed n jus contented 2 watch tv at home…so I didn’t talk 2 her e whole evening…cfm less than 10 sentences…anyway, I dun care now..sian alrdy…r/s r tired…I rather hv short r/s tt r memorable n sweet…e time 4 me 2 put my life on e line is not here yet, n I still not ready to compromise on anything tt is reqd in a r/s…soooooo tink I’ll tell Irene, we’ll goin into a open r/s, whereby ea of us can date n do whatever we wan, but jus let e other party knw (courtesy)…but I knw she wil not feel rite abt it..but there’s e best I can tink of…I’m sure there wil b lotsa gd guys in her class, n it’s e best time 2 knw guys…unless all r married n hv kids!! But I doubt so… :p anyway I’m tired of tis, no r/s 4 now, if I can get myself out of tis 1st…

Ok babes, need to slp now…on m/c today..but I’m bloggin here…hahahah..til e next post..love ya!!

LOST Season 1,000,001...

It’s down for some serious writing..been a longggg time…kana scolded by my mei mei fr not posting 4 so long…hhaahah…

E most notable feeling I hv now is anger n helplessness..my dad ask me when to hold the weddin dinner AGAIN!!!???? I really hv e urge to tell him I’m not doin it anymore!! I quit!! I seriously hv no intention fr holding any bloody shit now, nxt yr, e yr aft yr n lik FOREVER!!!…aaaarrrggggghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

I dun love my wife anymore, so wat e fuck do I wanna hold any dinner! Wat makes u tink so…got suicidal inclinations man…e tots of jumpin down frm my flat sounds lik a pretty proposal rite now..i really really REALLY need to sit my folks down w my wife n talk abt tis…I’m goin crazy jus tinkin abt it :(

Wat can I do…goin off wherever the plane can takes me or jus hide in my friend/relative’s pl 4 e time being???? E plane trip sounds lik a gd idea…disappear 4 a mth n come back w another woman n a baby…hw abt tt???!!! Become a gigolo n disgust myself to death???!!! Feelin all e pressure’s on me RIGHT NOW!! It’s totally unnecessarily!!! I dun wanna talk, eat, slp to ANYONE 4 e next wks…work late, come back late n go to slp…DOOR SHUT…I’m gonna shut myself out of tis world…it’s cruel n I’m not capable to handle it anymore..really I m…if u can c me rite now, I can cry my eyeballs out…dun tink I can hold back tis r/s anymore…the ultimatium: marry at aug 08 or call it quit…I give myself these 2 options..if not, they can disown me all they wan..i dun care anymore..if not, they can lose tis son of their fr 24yrs, forever…